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I got this text today from a dear friend, after she watched my stories today, where I showed photos of Anna I’ve never shared before. “It's strange looking at photos of her because she's so perfect it's hard to believe she's really gone. She's just…still. It gives so much more meaning to the name. I've never thought about this before, but Anna's name is the same forward and backward. It's never-ending. Eternal. Like two mirrors facing each other. It's still perfect no matter which side you're on. A link between this world and hers. “
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Being able to share Anna with the world has meant so much to my healing. So many people feel too uncomfortable to talk about a baby who has passed away. But I promise there is NEVER a moment where she isn’t on my mind. So many people took the time to reach out today, and just talk about the impact Anna has had on their lives. It means more than you could ever know.
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There is a huge stigma against stillbirth. And I believe it’s what contributes to the fact that the stillbirth rate hasn’t gone down in the last 50 years. By talking about it, it allows society to see this is a huge issue we need to look at more. I certainly had no idea how common it was before losing Anna. Stillbirth in the US affects 1 in 100 pregnancies. We lose 2,500 babies to SIDS each year. We lose 24,000 to Stillbirth. But I only feared one of those. Research and talking about SIDS greatly reduced it. I hope by sharing stories like Anna’s, we can slowly break down that stigma, and start working towards better prevention plans for stillbirth. Thank you for letting me use this platform to teach about the realities of baby loss. And giving me the space to continue to love her long after she is gone.
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Today marked a lot of “should have been’s.” But it also was a beautiful reminder of what she still is, to so many people around the world. *Im answering Stillbirth questions in my stories today, if you want to ask me anything in particular about this life.
Happy Mother’s Day to all my mama friends and family and the daddies that play both roles... snuggle and love on your babies a little extra for me today❤️❤️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #mamagrief #griefmama #childloss #motherhood #mothersday #mamas #childlossgrief #mamasday #motherhoodunited #mothersdaygrief #griefjourney #griefandloss #angelbabies #mychildexisted #mychildisinheaven #griefandloss #mamasunite #mamasunplugged
TimeHop, this bringer of gifts and of daggers. Two years ago today: softball practice, laughs, sun, and a whole, intact family. How could I have ever imagined Levi would never get a chance to play a sport of his own? Some days I can feel the hope, but some days the anger rages. He deserved more.
#missyoualwayslevi
Tonight was magical. I’ve captured this couples engagement, wedding and we were scheduled for a maternity session last year... sadly their son Dominick was born sleeping at 34 weeks . To be able to see them hopeful and happy again was awesome. It was such an honor to witness and be able to capture this time for them. I cannot wait to meet baby boy in three weeks and update with his photos. Please keep them in prayer #bts #behindthescenes @xavi_fb6 @julizzax @capturedpromises
My birthday last year: homemade cake with blue Funfetti icing / big sister Lily holding Levi so he wouldn’t fall / outlet plug covers / fireplace safety cover / best version ever of “Happy Birthday” / middle sister Reese pouting at the end because she didn’t get to blow out a candle / 2 year old Levi: “More Hapty Birtday?” / cherished memory.
Take the pictures. Take the videos. Treasure the moments.
#levislegacy
Did you know Grief applies much more widely than death?
I wouldn’t have chosen to learn the minutiae of grief but I’m a super curious person so when grief rocked my world I wanted to understand it. It took time to go there and to learn about it in depth. And I’m finally ready to share.
My grief journey began 5 years ago this week, and in honor of Leyden and all that she taught I am creating 5 "sprint" podcast episodes around grief.
The Line-Up:
Monday- Is This Grief?
Tuesday- How To Manage Milestones Days.
Wednesday- The Fake Stages of Grief.
Thursday- Linking Objects and Grief Gifts.
Friday- Delayed or Incomplete Grief.
Today I share how grief is not solely related to death. The change of a career, a relationship, moving, or losing the future that you had envisioned, and so many more daily life examples that are all connected to grief. Tune in for 4 steps to take when you encounter this things called, grief.
Pro-Tip: have someone who reads your mind, encourages growth, goals and is always there to lean on along the way. @cmooch for #teamleyden MVP.
Podcast Link in bio.
Thanks for being on this crazy ride, friends.
“The universe has pulled me close and whispered this ultimate truth to me: when you look back on your life, your greatest treasures will be the connections you created with other people.” I haven’t shared this with many people, but 3 beautiful rainbows revealed themselves to us all within hours of Levi’s death. They set the tone even then that there would be hope in our future. That hope is manifested every day through the people who surround us. ❤️ {link in profile}
****I have photos of 2 of the rainbows but am hoping that someone will help me find one from the night of June 10, 2018 in Fort Morgan, AL. ****