List of the most popular hashtags for theme #INTERDEPENDENT

We often hear terms like this in family therapy settings. They describe the level of connection and boundaries family members have with each other, but it happens within couple relationships as well . If you have high levels of connection, with little boundaries, we call that enmeshed . When couples are enmeshed one or both partners lack a sense of autonomy within the relationship. This might look like giving up hobbies, reducing interactions with friends or family, only doing activities together, etc. In this instance, I’m not talking about one partner being controlled by another, that’s a different topic. I’m talking about partners wanting to be so close emotionally and intimately that they lose their sense of self. Two people become one unit, which can make intimacy feel smothering . If you have low levels of connection with lots of boundaries, we call that detached . In couples this can look like one or both partners not wanting to talk about personal topics, keeping the other person at arms length, and needing large amounts of alone time. There’s so much autonomy in one or both partners that their relationship is at risk of not existing at all, and it leaves no room for intimacy . If you have high levels of connection and healthy levels of boundaries, we call this interdependent . Interdependent couples have a balance between me, we , and you. The relationship is not the center of their universe, nor is it barely a blip on the radar. Partners value each other’s autonomy equally to their own, and equally to their dependence on one another. They have individual and shared hobbies, friendships, and ideas. Intimacy grows in the security of knowing the other partner is there while also having a sense of freedom . We learn how to engage with others based on how our family engages with each other. It may take some unlearning to have a relationship that is interdependent

THIS! I've gotten a lot of flack from people that I detached from (out of LOVE and awareness) when I saw what they needed was time/space/self #empowerment, not my support (which was really enabling them to remain stuck). Well, an addict never thinks they have a problem until they decide to get sober, either. I wrote an entire course on codependency, have worked with hundreds of clients in personal sessions and when people are in the midst of healing their own issues around this, they may take offense to your #healthy #boundaries. It takes a lot of self-awareness and #commitment to #healing to go from #codependent to #interdependent. If I've learned anything over the past several years, it's that to find inner #peace and to form healthy #relationships WITH healthy boundaries, we need to learn to self reflect, self soothe and become emotionally + physically self reliant. It doesn't mean you have to go at everything alone, but there truly is a fine line between "supporting" + co-conspirators in an unhealthy cycle of attachment. If you feel that you have no identity or sense of self #esteem without helping other people, if you're focused on fixing or saving other people (even if your life is falling apart), if you try helping others to your own detriment (like it's making you ill) + if you take the slightest detachment or someone's boundary personally/you think it means the person is abandoning you, I'd highly suggest reading The New Codependency + Codependent No More by Melody Beattie as well as #Attached by Dr. Amir Levine. YOU are responsible for you. Everyone else is responsible for themselves. You can't save people. And your esteem needs to come from inside rather than external or your life will be in constant chaos dependent on other people's feelings/reactions (which is a vicious cycle that will burn you out). THIS IS RESOLVABLE. If you commit + get the support you need, you CAN + WILL end the cycle of #codependency in your life. I promise it's bright on the other side.

7-habits of highly effective people Are you independent or interdependent? Comment below what you are and tag a friend to see what they think they are Follow @money.motivess @money.motivess @money.motivess

I used to live on a tree. Now I'm part of the forest floor. I will decompose and become part of the soil that feeds the tree. I am never separate from the tree even when I fall. . . . . #nepal #forest #life #nature #interconnected #leaf #tree #interdependent #helambu

Words matter a lot. There are words that heal us after a conflict, and then there are words that activate our defenses even more. This is real stuff you guys .. and it is a skill we can all absolutely learn if we want to. And let me add .. this is a practice. Learning our partner and what works to soothe them is very specific to their wounds. . . Each of us has a hidden treasure chest of words and gestures that unlocks our heart after we have been hurt. Each of us has pain points that need to be addressed and validated in a gentle way in order to create connection and safety again. If our perspective has been invalided over and over again .. we may need our logic validated after a fight. If our feelings have been dismissed .. we may need our feelings prioritized and cared for. . . Whatever we require, emotion has to be included in the equation in order for it to register as a healthy repair. Logic can help ground us to safety .. but it doesn’t create the emotional atmosphere we need to re-connect with our partner after a fight. We are (emotional beings) after all. . . Some of us may also prefer a soothing touch, or loving facial expression over words. That’s totally fine. This is not a one size fits all kind of thing. We each get to find what works for us. We each get to learn how to communicate the hidden keys of our heart to our partner so we don’t keep those treasures to ourselves. . . My personal favorite phrase that always comforts me is “your feelings matter to me.” It always has been that one. It gives me permission to feel my range of feelings without feeling judged, especially when it is expressed through a caring heart. It breaks through my defenses and makes me feel deeply seen and embraced by my partner. . . What works for you? What kind of presence, or phrase, or touch do you need to feel safe and connected after a conflict? @silvykhoucasian

@hiiighervibrations " I'll tell you what #hermits #realize. If you go off into a #far, far #forest and get very #quiet, you'll come to #understand that you're #connected with #everything. That every little #insect that comes #buzzing around you is a #messenger, and that little insect is connected with #human beings #everywhere else. You can hear. You become incredibly #sensitive in your ears and you hear far-off #sounds. And just by the very #nature of #isolating yourself and becoming quiet, you become intensely #aware of your #relationship with everything else that's going on. So if you really want to find out how related you really are, try a little #solitude off somewhere, and let it begin to tell you how everything is #interdependent in the form of what the #Japanese buddhists call '#jijimugi'. 'Ji' means a 'thing event,' so it means 'between thing event and thing event, there is no block.' Every thing in the #world, every event, is like a dewdrop on a #multidimensional spider's web, and every dewdrop contains the reflection of all the other dewdrops. But you see, the hermit finds this out through his solitide, and so also human beings can aquire a certain solitude, even in the middle of #NewYorkCity. It's rather easier, as a matter of fact, to find solitude in New York City than it is in Des Moines, Iowa." #AlanWatts

This creation has spiraled my ocd into madness and maybe a few grey hairs. It came together quite effortlessly this first time, and has proven thus far, to be relatively impossible to replicate. The form was not intended initially. Instead it was more accidental result of dabbling with rocks too large to cap complex spines.. . . For context, this is my high water spot on the creek. I’ve made countless creations right here over the years — One of the few spots with accessible rocks during rage season.. but a characteristic of this spot, is lots of rocks too heavy to lift with one arm, yet too beautiful to ignore. .. . . To add to the challenge, utmost care went to my foot placement... as that point connection in the center, if fumbled, resulted in bone breaking rocks targeting my feet. . . Those two main lower rocks supporting each other across the gap were basically made for each other.. the leaning weight of the left, seemed a precision perfect counterweight to barely hold the right side in counterbalance. But the arch vector they co-create, was such that surprisingly more top weight could be applied to that connection than I could possibly lift. So it gives a strange illusion of weightlessness in the left side top, which is quite massive. Also a huge risk placing it, for the reason of foot placement and potentially sudden collapse. . . Another experiment was adding the opposing counterweight to the right side, which tickled my logical mind in a fresh way.. . . Also, the little round one is now lost in the raging water, as well as its intended replacement, leaving me as yet to find a new suitable solution.. another challenge I’m learning is the root rocks in the water require a specific relative orientation that I managed to have in perfect position initially without thinking about it, for that counterpoint-balanced gap to fit together so precisely and hold so much weight above. However, collapses slightly alter the orientation each time, hence the grey hairs ... . . #gravityglue #experimentation #play #counterbalance #interdependent #mindthegap #rageseason #multidimensional #rockbalancing #patience #practice

I want talk about the importance of having support (outside) of our relationships today. . . I think we live in an unusual time in history. Our culture pushes us to be extremely self-sufficient. And yet ironically .. many of us are reaching out to mainly our intimate partner to fulfill most of our primary needs. . . I think one part of that occurs as a result of our non-communal way of living as @estherperelofficial often points out in her work. I think another part is due to the “overemphasis” on self-mastery while most of us have a flawed understanding of what that actually means. . . When our primary needs aren’t tended to .. they will come out sideways. When we aren’t encouraged to get support, whether it be through mental health .. or men’s and women’s groups .. we will (naturally) resort to the person closest to us. . . Having outside support and resources to rely on looks different for each person. It can mean (consistent), weekly visits with friends to vent with. It can mean spending time with (wise elders) that can mirror back and normalize some of our struggles. . . If we don’t create space for support, all of our human needs will likely be directed at one person. I have seen many relationships crumble at the heavy burden of tending to (all) of someone’s emotional needs. I have also been guilty of expecting (way) too much from my own partner at times. . . In the first stage of love, we want our partner to come to us, just as we want to go to them. But as we cross over into the second stage of love, into a deeper maturity of the relationship, we need to re-evaluate our roles and create new agreements to aid with that necessary and often deeply uncomfortable transition. . . Taking care of ourselves and tending to some of our own primary needs is a way of giving to our partner. It (paradoxically) creates space for our partner to then be able to give to us .. even more. It breathes a life back into the mysteries of our separate identities. It’s surely a balance. One that ebbs and flows just like the wonderful and changing seasons of this life. #coachingwithsilvy

It’s this boys birthday today and here are some of the reasons why I fell head over heels in love with him: ✨ He’s an INFP with an emphasis on ‘IN’ (as in intuitive & introverted), he has an aversion to social events (unless intimate), mainstream pop music and politics. He LOVES dogs, true crime documentaries, Forensic Files, neuroscience, and eating sweets in the middle of the night. He’s skeptical of main stream media agenda and rarely trusts authority. He works tirelessly to help those suffering with addiction and goes to ANY length to get them the help they need. He never talks about himself and you’ll never find him on any social media network. His love languages are quality time, physical touch and affirmations. He is witty af and has an affinity for laughing. He is family oriented and originally from Milwaukee. His harrowing life experiences have given him profound depth of character that people are utterly drawn to, including me. He is kindhearted, open minded, humble and beyond loyal to those close to him. He is one SPECIAL human being and I just had to share him with with the world! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATTHEW! ❤️