List of the most popular hashtags for theme #POSTPARTUMANXIETY

(credit @mommingwithtruth) - It can often be hard to let others help out with our babies. It’s easy to feel like they are OUR babies. We carried them. We birthed them. But, I also think this stems from the belief that moms have to do and be all the things without help from anyone else. This is a total lie. Moms need help. Moms need rest. They should be encouraged and not judged for either of those things.

Still beyond me that women get treated the way they do...When mom is not okay, NO ONE is okay. Maternal mental health disorders affect the WHOLE family. Maybe if the men in charge start to realize this, they will actually give a damn!

Shared by one of our @motherhoodunderstood mamas, @i.am.you.mama - We don’t always realize that postpartum depression doesn’t discriminate, especially when we have fought so hard to have a baby. It can be extremely shocking, painful, and confusing when a woman finally has her baby after trying and experiencing loss and grief and then is hit hard with postpartum depression or another maternal mental health disorder. She wonders, “What is wrong with me? I wanted my baby with all my being. I did everything I had to so I could have this baby. Why am I not happy? Why don’t I feel love and connection?” She is consumed by guilt and shame for having these feelings. She doesn’t realize that no one is immune to maternal mental health disorders. She might not even know she has one. And she might stay silent because she doesn’t want anyone to know that after such a long journey, she’s not feeling the way she thought she would. We need to talk more about maternal mental health disorders and how they do happen after struggles with infertility, IVF, miscarriages, and the feelings of grief and loss that can occur as a result. A woman’s mental health should be addressed and made a priority here every step of the way. Do you have a similar story? Share with us in the comments. You are never alone here.

And yet we are still failing so many moms in so many ways. Shout out to all the brave moms coming forward and sharing their stories, the moms who who are suffering and are scared and feel shame because of society’s expectations of what a mom should be and do (you are not alone and we are here for you), and all the individuals, organizations and medical professionals dedicating themselves and their time to changing this, making sure all women get diagnosed and get the care for illnesses that are SO TREATABLE. (If I forgot to tag you I’m sorry and also there is a 20 tag limit and there are way more than 20 accounts dedicated to this work and I see every one of you and I am grateful to every one of you!)

Just a little friendly reminder

Before becoming a mom, you were carefree, less anxious, and spontaneous. Or maybe you were quiet, calm, and certain. You recognize this person you “used to be” and you can’t seem to find her. You’re on this journey through motherhood, and while trying to raise good humans, you long to be that carefree girl again. . . . Truth is, at some point throughout this journey, moms feel lost and disconnected from themselves. It’s natural as you become the life source for a little person that needs you, constantly. The former freedoms you once had to literally do whatever you wanted, those are gone. You no longer focus on your own needs because you focus on taking care to meet the needs of those around you. You try to live up to this unreal expectation of the “perfect mom,” when simply, she doesn’t exist. You find that you try to hang on to the old and familiar, as much as you can, when truthfully, your current reality doesn’t permit it. You’re battling mental health challenges that you never thought you would or that previously may not have been a problem. . . . These…things that occur, they may cause you to ask yourself, “Who am I?” . . . If this is or has been your experience, I’ll share some strategies to reclaiming a (new) YOU in tomorrow’s post. . . . What else would you add to this list of why mom may lose their identity?

Completely agree with this quote from @molly.millwood.phd from her book, To Have and To Hold. All the expectations and the “shoulds” placed on mother’s don’t leave much room for making our mental health a priority. In fact, these expectations make us feel like we are selfish and bad mothers when we do choose or even want to focus on our own well-being. Not okay. And when mom isn’t okay, no one is okay. #motherthemother

This is for you, mama.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I see the heavy load you’re carrying and I see that you’re trying your best to keep it all intact. I see that you’re trying to be strong for your children but sometimes the load gets too heavy and you’re not sure where or how to put it down for a bit.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ The load of worrying about your children, about their future, about whether you’re doing things right, and about how you’ll ever get everything done that you need to.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I see the mental load of thinking about all their needs and making sure they’re met. The school papers to sign, the clothes they’re outgrowing and need more of, the essentials at home that always have to be stocked up, the birthday parties, the healthy meals, constantly trying to remember where everyone’s things are and oh did they watch too much TV today?⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I see your physical load of carrying, soothing, bathing, cleaning, carrying kids in and out of car seats and strollers, having kids climb on you even when you just need a moment to yourself. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ And I see your emotional load, mama. The one where you sometimes feel down and you can’t figure out why. The one where you feel overwhelmed at times but also feel guilty for various reasons. The one where you love your children so much and you want to enjoy them more but you’re so exhausted. The one where you’re trying to figure out your new normal and put all these different parts of yourself together but boy is it hard. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ The weight can be so heavy- but you’re carrying it better than you may think you are. And remember, you don’t have to carry it alone If you know the original author of this image, please let me know so I can give them credit.

I deleted the social media apps off of my phone 6 months ago then re-downloaded them last week so I could engage and communicate through the updated app launch. This week I'm deleting the apps again. Here's why: . Personally, I find that having social media apps on my phone causes a pull, a distraction, a sense of urgency like I'm missing something, and a comparison trap that leaves me feeling anxious & far from present. . Creating IG stories is fulfilling and a creative outlet but the demand I feel for the rest of the day to "check my story/DMs" is not worth it. . Communicating through DMs and comments is so engaging and connecting but at a point there just wasn't enough time in the day to get through it all. . Posting everyday felt like I was contributing but also made me feel disconnected from my real life as if I was searching for things to post about. Then when something wonderful happened I'd get stuck in my phone trying to post about it. Kids don't see "Mama's working & offering value" they see "Mama's phone is more important than me" . The developers know what they're doing and they want you to stay on their app, they want you to feel rewarded when you get a little notification (they choose red on purpose) and they want you to essentially become addicted to their service. . So I shut it all down. . How am I posting then, you ask? I sit down once or twice a month, when I'm feeling inspired or creative, and schedule out my posts. Then I offer it to the world and let it go. Yes I would like to be able to engage in comments, stories & DMs here but it's just not in my cards right now. Instead I engage almost daily in the #SarahBethYogaApp SBY Tribe facebook group where I'm finding the communication to be fulfillling and a lot less distracting (I have a newsfeed eradicator on my desktop so I can't surf around FB, all I see is the Tribe group and I like it that way) . Maybe this is my own experience, and maybe it'll get easier later as I continue to heal from Postpartum Anxiety, but for now this is where I am in my journey. How about you? Have you deleted social media apps before? How do you balance life & social media?