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Sometimes I’m in the middle of teaching and as we work through the class I realise just how much the practice informs life; how the metaphors we find in yoga can help us grow off the mat too
Yesterday I asked everyone if they could redefine a win; if instead of worrying about getting things ‘perfect’, they could define winning as two more breaths in the posture we were in
Not only was this about self compassion, but also that YOU get to decide success looks like and let go of the ideas or expectations that are not helpful to you
And so maybe, if we start by finding and practicing this on our mat, it will slowly seep into the way we navigate our lives too
Recovery and leaning into discomfort - aka recovery in action
Moving away from quasi recovery (or diet culture / disordered eating) means that instead of doing what feels ‘safe’, asking what feels hard
Does taking the nut butter out of my smoothie bowl feel hard. No. But does it work as a vote for the person I want to be
Does keeping it there feel hard? Yes. My heart beats a bit faster and my mind starts racing. But does that mean a step towards freedom?
Yes
That is what I choose
I was reminded today of something I wrote a little while ago... After 13+ years of ‘fighting’ I can see that thinking of recovery as a battle is not working and it is not helpful
In recovery from anorexia I have always felt I needed to ‘fight’, but fighting requires a level of energy that just cannot be sustained. If recovery is something we want in permanence then we have to find a different way
Fighting is how we got here: fighting our minds, our bodies; pushing to eat less and work more. I got here by too high expectations, by perfectionism, and the belief I am not enough
Fighting is struggle, it is hard. And as a result we do all we can to keep ourselves safe. We put up barriers and wear armour. We separate ourselves from the world. We stop being vulnerable. And in doing so are unable to be excited / happy / love / try new things / live in the real world. Which are precisely all the things we need to recover
And so actually we should reframe recovery, using the words and ideas of the amazing Brene Brown, it is about showing up and letting yourself be seen. Exactly as you are, right now
It is not fighting. Instead it is surrendering. To our bodies, to happiness, to life. It is letting go. Falling in. Trusting.
As I start filming the #BeginnerSeries I find myself feeling a little like I did when I first started as a yoga teacher, that teaching is a little like being laid bare and requires more vulnerability than expected
Because teaching a class is opening up, sharing, and hoping that everyone will like it and/or relate, it is hoping that you are able to communicate what yoga holds
But individuality that gives me confidence (it’s just having the strength to share it) because all we can bring is our own experience. Our teaching is that which resonates with us; taking bits and pieces of inspiration from our own practice, life, other people, and then showing up, bringing what we found, and hoping that other people can feel that too
Really I know that yoga didn’t save me - but what it did do was give me the space to save myself
Yoga helped me remember what losing myself in something felt like, it helped me find space away from the cruel voice that sometimes speaks too loudly in my head. Inside a flow I am nothing but here. The outside world and the noise that comes with it disappears
Here I can find compassion for myself; refigure myself. And so can move through things I thought I could not; embrace struggle; breathe in discomfort
I found that on my mat first. And slowly it spread out into the rest of my life
My aim has always been to share that with as many people as I could; it’s the reason I teach
Over the past month I’ve been working on creating the Home Beginner Series. A collection of videos that will take you through starting vinyasa (think flow) yoga with me
We’ll talk more about the series over the coming month before I release them, but I wanted to tell you now because I’m kind of (hugely) excited!
And this is just the start (which is why I thought a beginner series was the most obvious and useful place to begin). I have some big ideas that I’m super excited to share. And I would love for you to come along with me for the ride
5 years ago I wasn’t allowed to do any exercise, but I was allowed to go to yoga
I went to my first class feeling pretty skeptical. How was I ever going to find solace in something that didn’t ‘tone’ me or burn calories?
But after one hour in that room it was like things had shifted. For that time I was free - I hadn’t brought my troubles on to my mat with me
Now that yoga is a constant in my life I can’t say I always leave my eating disorder behind; sometimes it creeps onto the mat with me in the form of ‘never good enough’, or ‘work harder’
And when it does I either have to let it go; if the voice in my head says push harder I’ll take child’s pose, or if I can’t, I’ll step off my mat
My message for when I teach is what I find there in the practice: Can you teach yourself opposite action? Can you choose to act from kindness? Can you see you are enough already? Can you drop unhelpful identities here and just be you?
Here’s a little flow we did at the weekend. I’ve written the flow notes below. I hope you lose yourself in it
Flow notes:
Downdog - step to low lunge x 2 ES
Downdog - step to low lunge - tricep stretch - cow face arms - high lunge twist - extend arm overhead - fold to pyramid pose - plank - flow back to downward dog
Puppy dog pose
Full cobra
day 8 #onelegdolphin
#practice4pincha
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Pose Lineup:
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Puppy pose✅
Gorilla pose✅
Forearm plank✅
Forearm side plank✅
Pyramid✅
Wheel or forearm wheel✅
Baby crow✅
One leg dolphin✅
Straight pincha
Pincha shape
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Hosts:
@mama_layla_rose
@chelseaannyoga
@dianarae.yoga
@cassandra_mccoy
@grace.e.gray
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Sponsors:
@vayumudra
@tinydevotions
@lotusblossomyoga
@gocleveryoga
@halyardcoastal
@arcfitnessproject
@bejialiofficial
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Keep C.A.L.M & be K.I.N.D
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@julian_baresch .
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