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I don’t know. I don’t fucking know. And I don’t know how to explain. To others or myself. This disease is so entirely consuming, it’s insane and it feels so out of control at times. I’m broken and tired and no longer have the will to fight yet I’m not a victim, this will not define or defeat me, I’m a strong fucking bitch and I can handle anything. The ups and downs get more and more confusing and intertwined and I lose track of what’s a good day and a bad day. I’m yin and yang. Black and white yet full of greys. I can’t hold down a full-time job, which is something I never thought I’d say. I struggle so much to keep my mood balanced. And I don’t mean mood like happy / sad. I mean content and gleeful vs I’m so tired I literally cannot move for about two hours after I wake up, I feel paralysed inside my own body and my head is so heavy it just drags me through so many dreams. It weighs so bluntly on top of my shoulders it might as well just fall to the floor. Yet I smile and I laugh and I’m not faking, I’m happy. But I’m exhausted and moody and have no patience for people or work. I’m content. But I don’t know what I am, what I’m doing, where I’m heading. Nothing seems to be working and I don’t seem to find the root of the problem so I just lull myself through life. This is me now and I don’t know.
I won’t let my mental illness define me but at the same time I have to be very much aware that I am my mental illness, not fully but just a little (maybe more) - by ignoring this simple fact, I place myself into such an utopic place that reality can come crashing down anytime and when it does it’s even harder to get up.
And, well... this is my official getting back into work post not the most conventional but hey, I’m back ♀️ •
#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthadvocate #ukbloggers #depression #anxiety #breakthestigma #nomakeup #bareface #mhawareness #selflove #selfcare #selfcaredaily #selfloveclub #thecaptionclub #mymeds #onmymeds #sertralina #sertraline100mg #zoloft
This meme is just super relatable ...
{ #camhsmemes }
{#mentallyillmemes }
{#dankmemepage }
{#relatablememes }
{#selfharmmemes }
{#mentallyill }
{#mentalillness }
{#recovery }
{#anxietymemes }
{#depressingmemes }
{ #dank}
{#lgbt}
{#selfhatememes {#memepage }
{#memeaccount }
{#prozac }
{ #zoloft }
{ #childline }
{ #aspergers }
{#suicidememe }
{ #transgender }
{ #lgbt }
{ #suicidalteens }
{ #fuckmylife }
{ #rip }
{ #bestmemes }
@b0rderline.vents
{ #camhsmemes }
{#mentallyillmemes }
{#dankmemepage }
{#relatablememes }
{#selfharmmemes }
{#mentallyill }
{#mentalillness }
{#recovery }
{#anxietymemes }
{#depressingmemes }
{ #dank}
{#lgbt}
{#selfhatememes {#memepage }
{#memeaccount }
{#prozac }
{ #zoloft }
{ #childline }
{ #aspergers }
{#suicidememe }
{ #transgender }
{ #lgbt }
{ #suicidalteens }
{ #fuckmylife }
{ #rip }
{ #bestmemes }
I wanna learn this power aha
{ #camhsmemes }
{#mentallyillmemes }
{#dankmemepage }
{#relatablememes }
{#selfharmmemes }
{#mentallyill }
{#mentalillness }
{#recovery }
{#anxietymemes }
{#depressingmemes }
{ #dank}
{#lgbt}
{#selfhatememes {#memepage }
{#memeaccount }
{#prozac }
{ #zoloft }
{ #childline }
{ #aspergers }
{#suicidememe }
{ #transgender }
{ #lgbt }
{ #suicidalteens }
{ #fuckmylife }
{ #rip }
{ #bestmemes }
I hate hate hate hate hate this!
{#mentallyillmemes }
{#dankmemepage }
{#relatablememes }
{#selfharmmemes }
{#mentallyill }
{#mentalillness }
{#recovery }
{#anxietymemes }
{#depressingmemes }
{ #dank}
{#lgbt}
{#selfhatememes {#memepage }
{#memeaccount }
{#prozac }
{ #zoloft }
{ #childline }
{ #aspergers }
{#suicidememe }
{ #transgender }
{ #lgbt }
{ #suicidalteens }
{ #fuckmylife }
{ #rip }
{ #bestmemes }
Do u know how to use chop sticks ?
post just press the unfollow button.
{ #camhsmemes }
{#mentallyillmemes }
{#dankmemepage }
{#relatablememes }
{#selfharmmemes }
{#mentallyill }
{#mentalillness }
{#recovery }
{#anxietymemes }
{#depressingmemes }
{ #dank}
{#lgbt}
{#selfhatememes {#memepage }
{#memeaccount }
{#prozac }
{ #zoloft }
{ #childline }
{ #aspergers }
{#suicidememe }
{ #transgender }
{ #lgbt }
{ #suicidalteens }
{ #fuckmylife }
{ #rip }
{ #bestmemes }
Wow this meme speaks to me on a spiritual level
{ #camhsmemes }
{#mentallyillmemes }
{#dankmemepage }
{#relatablememes }
{#selfharmmemes }
{#mentallyill }
{#mentalillness }
{#recovery }
{#anxietymemes }
{#depressingmemes }
{ #dank}
{#lgbt}
{#selfhatememes {#memepage }
{#memeaccount }
{#prozac }
{ #zoloft }
{ #childline }
{ #aspergers }
{#suicidememe }
{ #transgender }
{ #lgbt }
{ #suicidalteens }
{ #fuckmylife }
{ #rip }
{ #bestmemes }
Has this ever happened to you before?
{ #camhsmemes }
{#mentallyillmemes }
{#dankmemepage }
{#relatablememes }
{#selfharmmemes }
{#mentallyill }
{#mentalillness }
{#recovery }
{#anxietymemes }
{#depressingmemes }
{ #dank}
{#lgbt}
{#selfhatememes {#memepage }
{#memeaccount }
{#prozac }
{ #zoloft }
{ #childline }
{ #aspergers }
{#suicidememe }
{ #transgender }
{ #lgbt }
{ #suicidalteens }
{ #fuckmylife }
{ #rip }
{ #bestmemes }
It’s been a long week for me but I finally figured out why I’m so sick. Usually, I make up my pill boxes with all my medications like a month in advanced. I went to take them today and realized my antidepressant wasn’t in there. How long have I not been taking it? Looked up Zoloft withdrawal symptoms and there you have it still threw up again today but hopefully in the next couple days I’ll start feeling better. When I picked up my meds from the pharmacist today she was like “you’re weeks over due!” Ummm call me next time? jk. But seriously, it shows how strongly antidepressants can effect you and the need to be careful!!! Withdrawal symptoms are NOT fun!!!