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Less anxiety, stress and hostility. Lower blood pressure. Fewer symptoms of depression. A stronger immune system. These are just a few benefits of being able to forgive.
Holding grudges may seem like the right thing to do in the moment - after all, they were wrong! But staying angry hurts us more than the person we’re angry at. It increases stress, causes sleepless nights, and is a constant distraction. Why would we do this to ourselves?
Let’s share some tips on how to forgive and let go because, gosh, I know it’s hard.
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It doesn’t always need to be black or white, all in or nothing, perfection or failure, and all good or all bad.
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I’ve always been hypercritical of myself! Growing up I was taught early on that my life is my responsibility. No matter what happens in my life, it was because I had a part in creating it or letting it happen.
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This mindset is incredibly empowering and helpful in not letting yourself be a victim to circumstance or other people.
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However, on the flip side, taking this to the extreme (as I have in the past), you can become too hypercritical of yourself with this mindset. Beat yourself up for failing and often set improper expectations that undermine your positivity.
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Why is that? Well, when you take 100% responsibility... you have no one to blame or nothing to blame, but yourself!
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If you have similar tendencies to be hyper critical. Don’t back yourself into a corner. Don’t get stuck viewing life from one perspective and watch out for these tendencies to hyper polarize issues. (Cough, cough... politics)
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Something that has really helped me with this is learning to use the word “AND” a lot more!
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You can fail many times AND still find your way to success. You can hate one of your habits AND love yourself. You can dislike a destination AND enjoy the journey. You can feel hurt if someone wronged you AND choose to forgive them. You can go through a breakup AND still appreciate the good times you had. You can take a medical approach AND work on healing yourself holistically. You can feel sick AND stay positive...You can lose the battle AND win the war!
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I’m not quite sure what my ultimate point is AND I’m ok with that... just wanted to share and hope that resonates with some of you!
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Let me know what you think.
Forgiveness does not change the past but it does enlarge the future ☝️
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@limitlesss_mind
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I'm so passionate about this! I was taught through cultural influences that I need to forget or trust again to be fully forgiving, to fully do what's 'right'. You know what? Forgiveness is about YOU, not the offender, not one spec about the person who's hurt you. You can move forward, forgiveness is about your sorting out your hurt, your emotions, your understanding, your hopes in the future, and zooming back and looking at the entire picture. When you do this, you'll find space to let go, slowly. Forgiving doesn't mean condoning or agreeing with what another has done, in fact you can despise what they did, it's really about letting go of hate and anger in your heart as those burdens are too heavy to carry long-term. It's not a decision that happens in a moment, it takes time, tears, sometimes sobbing, journaling, talking to trusted others, and opening your heart to healing. ⠀
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Forgiveness. ⠀
“Forgive and forget, right? Guess what, that’s a twisted old folk teaching. Forgiveness is not forgetting or trusting! You can free your heart and still remember, still not trust. Forgiving is letting go of hate, malice, and enmity towards another so YOU can be liberated from that feeling.” Justin Stum⠀
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