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#GloriousMommies Nr. 9: Pain
Pain, sorrow and grief are all part of life, too, and sometimes we need to allow ourselves to be carried when we are struggling to stand on our own legs.
We are trying to understand the many "whys" of life but yet often find no explanation nor answer for the things that happened, are happening and will happen.
We can only trust that in those dark hours, when we do not seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel, someone will be there to help us - someone to carry us and inspire new confidence in us.
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Doch auch Leid, Schmerz und Trauer gehören zum Leben und manchmal dürfen wir uns tragen lassen, wenn es zu schwer ist, auf den eigenen Beinen zu stehen.
Wir wollen die vielen "Warums" unseres Lebens begreifen und finden oft keine Antwort, keine Erklärung für das, was geschehen ist, geschieht oder noch geschehen wird.
Wir können nur vertrauen, dass in solch dunklen Stunden, in denen wir kein Licht am Ende des Tunnels sehen, einer da ist, der uns hilft, uns trägt und neues Vertrauen in uns wachsen lässt.
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Thank you @lisawillschokolade for enacting this sad theme. And for joining me on this little adventure: being jumped by a massive watchdog, fighting through seemingly unpassable thicket with a lot of gear to carry, climbing over a dead fox, shooting at a really creepy swamp location, at twilight, by hanging barefoot in a dead tree at freezing temperatures... You are awesome!
WHAT IS NORMAL AFTER YOUR CHILD DIES?
Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize someone important is missing from all the important events in your family's life. Normal is trying to decide what to take to the cemetery for Birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, Valentine's Day, etc. normal is feeling like you can't sit another minute without getting up and screaming, because you just don't like to sit through anything anymore. Normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand what if's & why didn't I's go through your head constantly. Normal is continuously reliving that horrible day of learning of your child's death through your eyes and mind, holding your head to make it go away. Normal is having the TV on the minute you walk into the house to have noise, because the silence is deafening. Normal is every happy event in your life always being backed up with sadness lurking close behind, because of the hole in your heart. Normal is telling the story of your child's death as if it were an everyday, commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in someone's eyes at how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has become a part of your "normal." Normal is coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your child memory on their birthday and holidays, and survive these days. And trying to find the balloon or flag that fit's the occasion. "Happy Birthday”? Hmm Not really.
Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something special my child loved. Thinking how she would love it, but how she is not here to enjoy it. Normal is having some people afraid to mention my child. Normal is making sure that others do remember her. Normal is after the funeral is over everyone else goes on with their lives, but we continue to grieve our loss forever. Normal is seeing other families who are "whole" and thinking of how lucky they are. And thinking back on memories of when we were a whole family and knowing that it will never ever be that way again because our family chain was broken. Normal is weeks, months, and years after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse, not better because with every passing day, you miss them more!
Such a simple question I get asked and such a hard one to answer... Do I say yes and have to tell a complete stranger the story and watch them wriggle in uncomfortableness as they quickly change the subject, or do I just say no and feel guilty that I lied? That I in fact have 2 children. They just aren’t here on earth. I struggle with it every single time. What’s the right way? What’s the best thing to say? How do I answer? How would you respond? There are so many layers to grief. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #childloss #childlossawareness #childlosssurvivor #childlossgrief #childlosssupport #lossofchild #childlossmother #childlossjourney #mamagrief #mamagriefcommunity #angelmom #angelmoms #angelmama #angelmamas #earthmamaangelbaby #mychilddidexist #mychilddied #griefandloss #momsofangels #mychildisinheaven #mydaughters #griefrecovery #griefjourney #onedaycloser #onedayatatime #theyareinheaven #sisters #mychildrenareinheaven #lossandgrief #angelbabies
Today marks the beginning of spring.
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For some, it may not have even crossed their minds but for others that have felt the weight of winter, the darkness & cold of the last season. It’s a welcomed reminder that even in the deepest trenches, there is hope and re-blooming is within reach.
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Spring also brings stroms, but after storms there are rainbows. Just another reminder of the beauty that can be birthed from the immense power of a storm.
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This photo was shared with me and as soon as I saw it, it took my breath away. With permission I am sharing this beautiful photo taken by @sweetserendipityphotogpa here is what she wrote with it.
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“This picture is so much more than it seems. I met Ashley @a_lepley and Brad Lepley in 2015 when she was a maternity model for me. Not very long after we took those maternity photos they suffered an unimaginable loss. Their sweet Sophia Grace was born sleeping at 35 weeks gestation on June 21, 2015. Through their grief they showed amazing strength and grace and founded Sophia's Grace Foundation. (http://www.sophiasgracefoundation.com/)
Today I got to meet their rainbow baby, Weston. I knew I wanted to include Sophia's memory in his session. I think this does just that. It honors his sister's memory and celebrates his arrival. Congratulations Ashley & Brad, he's gorgeous!
"A rainbow is a promise of sunshine after rain,
of calm after storms,
of joy after sadness,
of peace after rain,
of love after loss."”
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If you know someone in the middle of a difficult season of their life I encourage you to reach out and give them a sweet reminder they are not in it alone - and feel free to tag them here.
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#myseedstory #stillbirth #stillborn #stillamother #stillbornstillloved #stillbornawareness #missingyou #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #miscarriagesurvivor #lossofchild #childloss #hereforyou #rainbow #rainbowbaby
As I look at this picture I see so many flaws... flaws of anxiety, depression, weight gain, hormones out of wack, grief etc... you get the picture!
But then.... I take a step back and say I am a mother of 3, who had a hysterectomy in her 30’s, had recent ankle surgery, lost a son and is working her tail off to better herself NOT only for her but her family! She knows she is a better, mom, wife and friend when she take a few minutes a day to get her workout In and able to help her challengers see and do the same things!
Giving back to others... it is a great source of strength and energy for me! So if you are looking to find an accountability buddy know that I am starting my next accountability group soon and I only have three spot left!
Also there is a special Memorial Day sale going on also!
Comment below...or send me a message!
#motherhood #childhood #workingmom #notyouraverage #makeithappen #farmlife #midwestlife #iowagirl #mamagrief #griefsucks #griefislove #griefisreal #griefisajourney #griefwarrior #griefislovewithnoplacetogo #griefcoaching #grieftogratitude #lossoffamily #lossofchild #griefof #lossofson #lossofachild
Those we love do not go away.
They walk beside us every day.
Unseen. Unheard. Always near.
Still loved. Still missed. And, very dear.
~Irish Blessing “Declare His glory among the nations, His marvelous deeds among all peoples.” 1 Chronicles 16:24
For your loved ones and ours, Cannonballs for Kayne is committed to families, education and funding research for a cure.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Love, blessings and grace,
The Finleys (Photo is of our Kayne Finley in March 2017 when we stayed at Ronald McDonald House Charities of Greater Cincinnati and he was being treated at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center. What wonderful care he received! He is loved and missed very much!) #cannonballsforKayne #CannonballsAcrossAmerica #cannonballsforacure #happystpatricksday #happystpattys #supportresearch #findacure #makewavesforDIPG #foreverKayneFinley #cureDIPG #defeatDIPG #DIPG #DIPGwarrior #cancersucks #braincancer #braintumor #morethan4 #PrayerWarriors #prayer #pray #LSU #LSU21 #foreverLSU #LSU2021 #grief #lossofchild #olol #stjude #ufshands #cchmc
There was only 6 weeks when I had both my babies earth side. It should have been so much longer. I watch Eloise play and wonder what it would have been like to watch them play and interact together. I wonder what they would have taught each other and lament that my house has only one little laugh and not two. I’m glad Jude got to meet his baby sister. His love for her was immediate and you can tell by how he gently touches her in this photo. Our family will always have an empty place and will never feel complete without our bug here. I’m missing my Jude today so much and wishing he was here to enjoy being five and being a goofy big brother. #lifeafterloss #childloss #sunshinebaby #griefsucks #eloisemary #judebug #missingmyboy #lossofchild #medicalmom
Asking everyone to please pray for me and send kind thoughts our way. I’m in an incredible amount of pain. My #miscarriage has been ongoing. It’s been over a week and I’m still bleeding & major cramping. From everything I e read this can sometimes last Up to 2 weeks? I do have another #OBGYN appointment in a few days. I’m honestly shocked at the intensity & length of this. I’m using a heating pad & taking ibuprofen Is there anything else comforting that I could be trying? Whether it’s good or meds or other? Thank you in advance to ALL who have and will reach out. To those that can identify, I’m incredibly sorry. I would not wish this on anyone. But how beautiful that you share with others to help them. You are such a light. ❤️ #recovery #painmanagement #miserable #painful #lossofchild
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