timoth timotheechalamet cmbyn callmebyyourname echalamet love elioandoliver liltimmytim tchalamet hotsummernights ladybird bhfyp armiehammer timmy timothee elio beautifulboy chalamet elioperlman missstevens timotheechalametedit beautifulboymovie lucaguadagnino timmychalamet cmbynedit dune flowers elioperlman
{I wanted to try and write something that would be from Elio’s point of view and his feelings after his phone call with Oliver and the last scene from cmbyn please I hope you enjoy.} •
I think you could fall in love with anyone if you got to see the parts of them no one else gets to see. You left your mark on me, and I can’t forget you. Its like no matter what I fucking do, your name is tattooed on my heart and trust me I tried to get rid of it. Tried to cover it with a different name, tried to drink it away, tried to stop feeling you through my veins but nothing ever works. Everything goes back to you.
Its always you. Its you all the damn time. Its you when I’m with him/her. Its you when I’m alone. Its you no matter what I do or who I’m doing it with and I give up.
I give up on trying to erase you. I give up on trying to replace you with something else, anything else because it only brings me back to the place I was when you decided I was no longer enough for you.
And I don’t understand why its so hard to forget a person who forgot you first. I don’t understand how I can still feel the exact same way we met when I don’t even really know you anymore. You only exist in my memories and the pictures I still have of you.
You are just a ghost of everything that ever was yet I still feel everything so damn clearly, as if we were back 6 months ago in that very bed when you told me to call you by my name.
Everything is so damn clear except your so far away I don’t know how I can still see you so well... still feel you as if you never left.
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When you’re using drugs, you’re driven by this mystical black energy, a force inside you that just won’t quit. And the weaker you get, the more you feed into that energy, and the more it fucks with you. When your spirit becomes dark and your lifestyle becomes dark, your existence is susceptible to infiltration by dark spirits. I’ve seen it so many times with addicts. You can see that they’re controlled by dark energy, the way they look, their appearance their voice, their behaviour, it’s not them. -
I wished my heart wouldn’t reach what my arms could not.
That the people I once loved would not become something I couldn’t recognize.
That I wouldn’t love them for their former selves.
But I can’t, and this addiction will tear down the family.
Will tear down my trust.
And build up my tears.
It will leave my fists up.
Any new person will be looked at as though they were out to get me!
But all I wanted was to go out and get me.
To find my former self.
That the addict made me leave behind
•ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ•
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Another edit sorry it’s not “top par” but I just wanted to say thank you, to each and every single one of you who supports and follows this account, you guys are absolutely amazing and it blows my mind how beautiful and unique each one of your souls are. You’re all so talented and inspire me to write and create, I’ll share the writings someday just not today.
Please keep creating, keep sharing the things you love, keep supporting each other and spreading love and kindness. You guys are amazing and if anyone says different they’re wrong.
I just wanna give a hug to each and every single one of you and thank you personally.
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