disenfranchisedgrief grief movingforward healing careforyourself community deathofchildren ebbandflow healingcolours healthissues hope illness lifeloss lossofpartner love notalone rememberitisok sadness sunshinecoming support wearehere widowers widows loss colourtherapy divorce jobless parentsdying suicide lgtbqplussupport lgtbqplussupport
Well I may not have been too awful on Texas radio after all. Next week an hour long breakfast radio show in Wisconsin talking about my book & pregnancy loss. A feverish time for US female bodies now. I hope to hit the right notes. #femalebodies #feminism #miscarriageawareness #pregnancyloss #stillloved #thebrinkofbeing #brinkofbeing #disenfranchisedgrief #miscarriage #borntoosoon #bereavement
We talked about disenfranchised grief this morning at our grief group at the shelter. Disenfranchised grief arises any time society denies our “need, right, role, or capacity to grieve” (thanks Ken Doka). Anything you’d add to the list #grief #griefsupport #homelessness #disenfranchisedgrief #griefgroups #overdose #suicide #homicide #divorce #petloss #infertility #miscarriage #pregnancyloss #eviction #foreclosure
People may feel disenfranchised grief if the relationship they had with the person who has died isn't recognised or known by friends, family or society. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation.
We are here for people when someone dies, we offer no-judgemental and confidential support. Find our more about our services here: https://www.cruse.org.uk/get-help
#mondaythoughts #grief #feelings #loveandloss #bereavementtips #bereavement #grieftips #griefsupport #wearehere #bereavementsupport #support #onedayatatime #stepbystep #disenfranchisedgrief #carers #griefawareness #bereavementawareness #griefwisdom #disenfranchised
Excerpt from very unfinished memoir:
I am diagnosed with congenital hip dysplasia. As this can be hereditary in firstborn females, investigations are made into my background, but no history of the condition is found. Treatment will involve encasing me in plaster from waist to toes, legs spread in order to stabilise my hip, and keeping me this way for many months.
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“Bring her back”, the hospital staff say. “We’ll give you another one”.
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My new parents are shocked. They can simply return me to the sea of orphans for a less faulty replacement. There are so many of us, we are interchangeable. But they decline, resolutely choosing instead to continue with a role for which they are not equipped.
When I am 3, with my hip fully healed, a fisherman on a beach in Malaysia gives me a tiny black fish he pulls from his net. My father helps me dig a hole in the sand and we fill it with water. I watch with delight as my little fish swims in circles, but the water keeps disappearing into the sand and we have to keep refilling it.
Then I feel pressure in my bladder. “Can’t you wait?” my father asks.
I am 3 years old, there is no waiting. I hurriedly squat behind the nearest tree but by the time we return my little fish is dead, stranded in the empty hole with no-one to refill it. The guilt for that little lost life stays with me.
But why didn’t we take her back, I wonder later. Why did we leave my little fish in a place that was not equipped to support her survival when the whole ocean was nearby? Because I wanted to keep her. I wanted her for myself and it cost her the world.
#amwriting #writersofinstagram #memoir #adoption #adopteevoices #adoptee #cptsd #trauma #mentalhealth #attachmenttrauma #disorganisedattachment #insecureattachment #griefandloss #ambiguousloss #disenfranchisedgrief #healing #recovery #godisgood
Life has been a bit hectic lately. And that always makes me anxious. So, I remind myself that this is only temporary. I've made it through plenty of tough times. I'll make it through these. And even though I might be high-strung and anxious, I am so much more! Anxiety does NOT control me!⠀
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And it doesn't control you either, fabulous one! You. Are. STRONG!!!⠀
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#ChildlessNotByChoice #ThisIsInfertility #RedefiningMomhood⠀
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#notsomommy #notsomommyblogs #childlessandsurviving #motivationalquotes #inspirationalquotes #affirmationsforanxiety #disenfranchisedgrief #strongwomenquotes #youcandothis #icandothis
Right now, my husband and I are watching "Madam Secretary" on Netflix. In one of the episodes, Nadine mentions this Kierkegaard quote. Wow! It really hit home...⠀
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As I grieve the passing of my best friend, the most painful moments are "remembering the future"--thinking about visits to Oklahoma, Christmases, going out to eat with friends... She should be a part of it all...⠀
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And I realized that this type of pain, this "remembering the future," poignantly describes the grief we childless not by choice experience. We think about the way life would have been, should have been... And there is a deep and profound ache over the fact that the littles we dreamed of will not be a part of it...⠀
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Perhaps next time someone doesn't seem to understand the grief caused by involuntary childlessness, we can share this quote...⠀
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Yes, "The most painful state of being [truly] is remembering the future."⠀
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#ChildlessNotByChoice #ThisIsInfertility #DisenfranchisedGrief #RedefiningMomhood⠀
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#notsomommy #notsomommyblogs #childlessbychance #childlessbycircumstance #involuntarychildless #childlessness #childlessblog #childlesssupport #childlesslife #childlessafterinfertility #lifeafterinfertility #infertilitysupport #infertilityblog #infertilelife #griefjourney #infertilitygrief
#griefandloss #griefjourney #griefsupport #griefawareness #griefcounseling #griefrecovery #grieftherapy #griefislove #griefisreal #disenfranchisedgrief #disenfranchiseddeath #loss #passingaway #socialworker #socialworkers #psychology #psychologist #psychologists #craigieburnsocialworker #tnjcounselling
I’m not so arrogant as to believe that Not So Mommy… can meet all of everyone’s needs since this journey is beyond complex. Because of that, I decided to compile a list of additional resources, including blogs, Facebook groups, and other websites.⠀
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Find the complete list at http://notsomommy.com/resources/⠀
{LINK IN BIO - Find "Resources" in Main Menu}⠀
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And if there is a resource you believe should be added, please feel free to send me a DM.⠀
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#ChildlessNotByChoice #ThisIsInfertility #RedefiningMomhood⠀
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#notsomommy #notsomommyblogs #childlessbychance #childlessbycircumstance #involuntarychildless #childlessness #childlessresources #childlesssupport #childlesslife #infertilityresources #infertilityblog #lifeafterinfertility #childlessafterinfertility #childfreeafterinfertility #disenfranchisedgrief
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