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With so much talk about labels lately I just wanted to be clear about mine. This is my truth. There is no shame in admitting this because I do the work daily to not only maintain my sobriety, but to live honestly and with integrity in everything that I do. I honor whatever your path is for your own recovery because I believe it’s a personal journey. But I see so many people out there bashing 12 step communities and having such a problem saying they are an alcoholic or an addict because they never hit “rock bottom”. Let me tell you this: We. Are. All. The. Same. The heroin addict sticks a needle in his arm for the same reason that mommies drink wine. Why on earth would sober people be trying to cause such division in the sober community as a whole?
For profit. That sure seems to be the reason. “Read my book”. “Buy my coaching program”. “Buy my T-shirts”. “I can offer you a painless way to stop”. If it’s painless then you’re doing it wrong. Recovery is work. Hard work. It’s emotional. It’s learning to show up for yourself every day, one day at a time. I applaud anyone who gets sober for any reason. But I certainly don’t appreciate people bashing other people, or programs just because it wasn’t their chosen path. Just do you. Think for yourself. Lead by example. There’s no need to hate on others just to sell your service. It’s not a popularity contest. It’s life or death for a lot of people. Please be mindful of that next time you add to the stigma by bashing us alcoholics.
Guess what? It’s February. I still say Feb-rew-airy when i type that. But guess what again? I turn TWO YEARS OLD in a week in half . (God willing)
Pretty wild to me that two years ago, at this exact time, I literally thought my world was falling apart. Shattering really.
The cat was out of the bag. I had disgracefully relapsed in front of my whole entire family in Mexico. Then everyone found out i had been drinking for months. I tried to stop but was barely able to string together more than 2.5 weeks of sobriety.
While on this trip, I had stopped responding to my bosses even tho I had committed to do work while in Mexico. After breaking the news to my parents, I had to tell my work what was going on. They had known I was in recovery but they were equally as shocked. My parents were insisting that I move back home to WA again. Clearly I couldn’t be trusted on my own in AZ.
My (then) BF was supposed to be in Mexico, but he wound up getting arrested. He got out about a week later. In the same week, while cleaning my apartment in AZ, my mom discovered that I had been purging. This discovery ultimately led to me having to change my entire course for treatment, as my old treatment center they could not accommodate me anymore since I was still active in my behaviors. My mom had no clue this had been going on for years. It was insanity, and of course I’m still sneaking around drinking. I told my mom was going to a meeting, when I was really drinking in the bathroom of a grocery store. Surprise.
We flew back to WA while waiting for a bed to open up in SD. I was being forced to get treatment for an ED I didn’t believe I had. “2 weeks” I said. “That’s it & then I’m going SF to my old treatment center to get help for the real problem” - my alcoholism.
I honestly didn’t think I could handle another fucking second bc each second was somehow getting worse than the last.
What happened next, when I got to CA, was nothing short of a miracle. And that’s when I learned the power of walking thru pain. It truly can launch us to the lightest state of being.
✌TWO 2️⃣ I believe in miracles. The obsession was lifted; He did for me what I could not do for myself.
Without a doubt, I could not continue to carry this strength without each and every one of you who holds me close in love. From near to far, from strangers to family, to friends that have become family. The encouragement, wisdom, the sublime support. The challenges, the triggers, the character flaws that, at times, deeply want to show their face. The inadequate days, the best days, and every day in between. My son, my beautiful boy, my angel; you saved me. My husband; you astound me. My critics; you teach me. My supporters; you inspire me. My journey may not be for everyone, but its for the right people. It is mine and I would never, could never, change a thing. This is me; unapologetically. Letting my authenticity be my rebellion. Letting my light shine in the dark. Thank you all; I love you. Here’s to a lifetime more. cred to my beautiful friend @stacykay80 ; you nourish my soul and bless my life more than you will ever know.
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#rebirthday #wedorecover #recoveroutloud #recovery #support #itworksifyouworkit #bythegraceofgod #grateful #gratitude #gratefulalcoholic #friendofbillw #serenity #serenityprayer #sober #sobermom #sobriety #odaat #onedayatatime #progressnotperfection #ibrokeupwithalcohol #littlebylittle #lifeisbeautiful #fromdarknesstolight #thywillbedone #thankyou
That’s a wrap, folks. Today marked 23 MONTHS without the devil juice. Grateful seems like such an understatement. That life I lived doesn’t even seem like it was my own, and yet I thank God for every single minute of it. Every single deep, dark, effed up minute of it. Because without that darkness, I never would have found a light this bright. I never would have found such a radiant life. A life full of continuous growth and improvement. A life so filled with purpose. Today I can look myself in the eyes and honestly say that I accept and love every single ounce of who I am. It may have taken me 34 years to get here, but in my world late is far better than never. I’d choose this life over and over and over again. It must be said that I can guarantee I would never have gotten here without the absolute endless love, support, and encouragement of my insanely patient and compassionate husband. This man has always seen the light inside of me when no one else did. He has always believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. He’s never once left my side or made me feel small for any single thing I have ever done. @devo925 <— you the real MVP!
And to all of you following, encouraging, supporting, and learning from my journey, I feel every ounce of your love and am forever grateful for all of you. ✌
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#grateful #recoveroutloud #ibrokeupwithalcohol #gratitude #serenity #strength #hope #progressnotperfection #sober #soberlife #sobermom #recovery #recoveryworks #itworksifyouworkit #friendofbillw #boozefree #mominrecovery #myjourney #support #sobersisters #gratefulalcoholic #odaat #onedayatatime
It was an @aisforalcoholic road trip, y’all! @sonicjohn000 and @audioangel joined @ali__megan and I for a @mike_doughty_ show that was cancelled due to awful weather. We had fun regardless and even recorded a new podcast episode! Fuck yeah! Now@come and rejoice in the glow of the immaculately edited portrayal of my social media life! Things are always perfect on Instagram.... .
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#aisforalcoholic #soberiety #sober #soberlife #soberaf #recovery #aifagratitude #soberliving #sobermovement #recovery #AIFAgratitude #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #odaat #podcast #podcasts #podcasting #easydoesit #lifeonlifesterms #cunningbafflingpowerful #grateful #gratefulalcoholic #cleanandsober #2019 #pdx #portlandoregon #olderfolksstuff
Can someone really ever be grateful to be an addict or alcoholic? Bottom line is this- my addictions brought me to my faith in God. It took what it took for this stubborn human to finally relent and learn how to hand my will and life over to God. Being an addict is not an easy path to God. I believe it's probably one of the harder paths to Him. But would I change it if it meant giving up my testimony in the Atonement of Jesus Christ? Not for all the world. #gratefulalcoholic #gratefuladdict
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