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Respect is an interesting concept, isn’t it? It’s something I like to explore with families when I see them for therapy, because it’s often a sore point for us as parents.
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We often expect respect, especially from children. In fact, we often demand it of our children. And we frequently interpret their more difficult or challenging behaviour as a “lack of respect”.
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But what are we really asking for when we ask for respect? Are we asking for our children to follow instructions? Speak politely? Be considerate of our feelings? Treat us with kindness? Do they know what we mean when we ask for respect?
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And more importantly, are we modeling this behaviour for them? How do we show respect to our children? What does it look like?
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What we’re usually talking about when we talk about respect is feelings. And using our feelings and the feelings of others, to guide our interactions with them.
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When we meet the emotional needs of our children, when we value their emotions, and our relationship with them, we are showing them respect. We build their emotional intelligence so they can have respect for others. When we have respectful relationships with them, we show them what a respectful relationship looks like, and we teach them to have respect for others. And for themselves too.
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Do your kids know what you mean when you ask them to treat you with respect? What does respect mean to you? What does it look like in your house and in your family? Why not have this conversation with your kids this week? Their answers may surprise you ♥️
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#mindfullittlewords #mindfullittleminds
This is how you truly set up a cool down area! I had a professor at Texas State University during grad school talk about setting up a structured cool down zone like this. Having items like this in your cool down zone let’s you know your students are ready to join the class when they are cooled down! When students start using those items, such as coloring or drawing, that should be a clear indicator the child is using their frontal lobe of their brain and not their fight or flight part of the brain allowing you to know that they are in a calm state!
Bu sabah ki oyunumuz benden olsun.Muhteşem bir güne merhaba #Repost @teachertidbitsofficial with @make_repost
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Check this out Here's a fun activity that can be done anywhere, school or home! This is a great way to get kids moving, balancing, & jumping! Like this post and tag someone else who would love to recreate this.
Happy Learning!
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Repost @taiseagostini
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So often parents tell me that they’ve responded with empathy, validated how their child feels, or responded respectfully, and it didn’t “work”.
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And to that I say, it depends on what you define “working” as. Often parents are using empathy as a “strategy”. Expecting it to change their child’s behaviour. Put an end to a tantrum. Calm them down.
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But when we respond with empathy, we can not do so with the expectation that it will stop our child from being distressed. It’s not a magic cure for tantrums or meltdowns. In fact, we don’t need to stop those at all.
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We respond with empathy simply because we want to let our children know that we are there, that we understand they are upset, and that we are listening. That it is safe to express how they feel.
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That doesn’t mean we can’t teach them how to use calming strategies. It doesn’t mean we can’t teach them to express their emotions in a more appropriate way. But right there, in that moment, all we need to be is present, and understanding.
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When we consistently respond with empathy when our children express big emotions, they learn that all emotions are safe. When they feel safe to express big emotions, they can simply feel them and move on.
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They don’t feel afraid, ashamed, guilty or embarrassed about their feelings. They just feel how they feel, because it is safe to do so. And a brain that feels safe, is a brain that can regulate itself.
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#mindfullittlewords #mindfullittleminds
Thank goodness for that student!
From @teachergoals
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Henely ❤ reading! Thanks to your support, this young girl is an enthusiastic participant in our Literacy Boost program. Our #Partner4Children community helps kids learn to read early in life by training teachers, inspiring parents to encourage their children and offering reading camps for kids like Henely. Because every child deserves the opportunity to learn!
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#Reading #Books #BookLover #ReadingIsFun #ReadingIsFundamental #Literacy #LiteracyBoost #EarlyEducation #EarlyEd #SavetheChildren #EveryLastChild #ChangeALife
How many times this week have you heard some variation of, “Look at me!”?
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Do you hear it more when you’re a bit distracted? On your phone, cooking dinner, writing an email, or *gasp* trying to have a conversation with another grown up?
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All any of us really wants is to be seen. Seen for who we truly are, deep down. Our unique talents and special skills, our best qualities, our hearts and our souls. We want to be seen for us.
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Our children are the same. They know when we’re not giving them our full attention. We’re not fooling them with our half hearted, “Mmhmm....great job honey!” They know we’re not really ‘seeing’ them.
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And so they keep asking. They keep demanding that we watch them do that cartwheel we’ve seen 346 times before. The flip on the trampoline, the picture they drew, the silly face they can pull.
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They just want us to see them. To really truly see who they are deep down. To acknowledge them. And to know that we love them for it.
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The best thing we can do in those moments, is close the laptop, put down the phone, remove everything else that’s in the way and just be fully present in that moment with them. Watch that cartwheel. Delight in it. Let your child know how much you enjoy their presence. How much you enjoy them.
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Give them your full attention, just in that moment. This is how you say, “I see you. You are important. I love you just the way you are.”
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#mindfullittlewords
I’ve heard this, or something similar to this, said to children many, many times. And I know it’s said with the best of intentions. I do. I understand. But my goodness, it still makes me cringe.
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Everyone feels scared. Everyone feels anxious. This is normal. It’s how we’ve survived as a race. If we didn’t feel fear or anxiety we couldn’t remain safe in times of danger.
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I get that when people say this to kids, they’re trying to make them feel big. Brave. Bold.
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But it actually has the opposite effect. It makes them feel small. Ashamed. More afraid.
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If they “shouldn’t” feel like this, then why do they? It makes them feel as though there must be something wrong with them. It makes them feel ashamed and embarrassed for feelings anxious.
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And so, ironically, instead of helping your child feel better, you’ve heaped on more stress. Now your child has to worry about the situation, and his feelings about the situation, too!
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Human brains need connection in times of stress and fear. It’s how the brain regulates itself, and feels safe. So instead, try normalizing and validating how your child feels. This helps them feel understood. Let them know you’re there for them. This helps them feel safe.
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And then the brain and the nervous system can calm down. And that’s how you help a child feel brave, and act brave, too!
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If you have an anxious child, be sure to check out the kids section of the shop for more resources and tools that will help your child manage their anxiety ❤️
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#mindfullittleminds_mindfulcommunication
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