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MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING⚠️ Do you ever just look into the mirror and think ‘how the fuck can someone be this ugly’ because that’s how I have felt all day. Just looking in the mirror fucking breaks my heart! All I can see is fat EVERYWHERE and anorexia is so loud.
If you didn’t know already I have just reached the minimum healthy weight which makes me feel disgusting:( I want to be just as skinny as I was before recovery and the scary part is, is that I know exactly what to do to get back to that! will I actually fucking do it this time or will I just say it?
I can’t live with myself with how I am now so maybe it’s for the best that I start to lose again because the urges the sh are REALLY strong!!!
I have soft skin. I’m on the verge. I’m recording new music tomorrow night. @erina_music is playing in port Townsend Saturday night. I’m going to la next weekend. I’m working 45 hours a week at a desk job. I got dumped and I’m ignoring my feelings. I’ve been drinking too much. I’ve been smoking weed constantly. My therapist thinks I’m an addict. I haven’t been able to get out of or into my head. I’m floating on the surface, getting closer to my dreams but feeling distant and emotionally stunted. Someday things might make sense, but probably not. How are you doing?
Pic by @cjbandana
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