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Some ways you might be giving up your power: Pretending to be fine with a level of treatment you are actually not fine with. Consistently placing someone else's needs and desires above your own. Putting your sense of self-worth and self-esteem in someone else's hands. Saying yes when you mean no. Ignoring red flags. Overriding your own boundaries. Not talking about problems. Not talking about feelings. Lowering your standards. Self-denial. (Just to name a few.) : Some ways you can start to get your power back: Prioritize (and vocalize) your needs and desires, both independently and in relationship to others. Let other people take care of themselves. Be okay with someone else being disappointed in you, or even not liking you. Say yes when it's a yes, and no when it's a no. Note red flags and be real with yourself. Adhere to your boundaries, and if/when they get violated, address it. Give voice to your concerns and worries. Share your feelings even when it's hard. Keep your standards high. Accept and stop judging yourself, please. (An incomplete list.) : What's something you've learned how to do to "get your power back" in difficult situations, or uneven relationships? I’d love to know AND it gives other people great ideas!

This falls into the "EASIER SAID THAN DONE" category, but it's so important to take with you... : I coach and teach what I call "slow-burn attraction" in the dating arena, over white-hot-electric-wow-take-your-pants-off attraction. : Sometimes this makes people grumpy because they think it means they're gonna have to bang peeps that repulse them. But that's not what investing in slow-burn attraction means. Not at all. : Investing in the slow burn means not getting tangled up in your hot, hardwired (often unhealthy) habits of attraction, that may or may not lead you towards the kind of relationship you're looking for. : That's because the people we find ourselves inexplicably drawn to most often mimic whatever our old, learned love template dictates. : So if your earliest experiences of love involved having to work really hard for parental approval, you'll likely be most attracted to people who make you feel like you have to prove yourself to them. You'll actually get unconsciously turned on by someone making you feel insecure and unworthy. : If you grew up feeling like you had to keep a lid on your own experience in order to take care of someone else's feelings, you'll probably find yourself in relationships where caretaking and codependency are king. : These relationships will feel so delicious and like “home base” in the beginning, but eventually the inbred dysfunction will override everything. : This is why it's so important to not just let your initial feelings and interpretation of who someone is run the show. : If you are INSATIABLY TAKEN with someone, that doesn't mean they're going to be a good partner for you. That doesn't mean your relationship will be happy or healthy. In fact, unfortunately, it often means the opposite. : And being willing to explore connections with people who intrigue you, but maybe don't excite you in that “home base” way, is a really worthy practice. It's letting both facts and feelings play an equal role in your decision. And that's what healthy, happy, relationships are built on. ♥️

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