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Look forward; focus on your blessings and not your flaws - that’s the only way you will truly realise how amazing your life is. You can sit and list all things you see wrong with how you look; your eyebrows aren’t the same as each other, your belly rolls over your jeans when you sit down, your thighs touch when you’re standing a specific way so therefore you avoid that stance, your hair doesn’t sit right certain days...BUT then list everything that you do like...I like how I do my make up; I like the way my hair falls when it’s down (I feel self conscious when it’s up), I like the way my eyebrows turn out on most days, I like the way my life is slowlyyyy starting to show me better days, I love the support I have around me, I love that my friends love me for me and not my past, I love that I have more energy for dancing, I love that I have gained jobs around my dance path, I love the opportunities and sights I have seen, I love that all of this has came from recovery. Yes, while my thighs my touch and my belly may not be concaved, I have a life - a life worth damn living! I have people around me I’ve been searching for my whole life. I have been surrounding by fake ness and bitterness all my life and to find people who genuinely care; I love that! I refuse to look back though and regret it, because those fake friends taught me how to realise and appreciate real ones! Everything in life teaches us a lesson; the same with our eating disorders; they teach us to be strong, they teach us to support ourselves and care for others in early sights of struggles; they’ve taught us a lot, and that’s all I treasure from my anorexia...everything else can fuck off! The infertility, the weak bones, the thinning hair, the loss of a tooth, the mental scarring and just overall shit it’s bought BUT all that needs to be forgotten about now; it’s time to move forward, it’s time to live life! And look FORWARD!! I have a life to look forward to and while being in this rut, it won’t help me so therefore, I refuse to listen anymore, I need to start going against my head, I’ve been lying to myself and others when I say I haven’t been struggling, because I have. It’s time to change!
SHE FUCKING DID IT! She fucking did it! @mycookiedough you absolute dream! I feel horrible now but I smashed what I could! I left some ice cream but anyone who knows me knows im not the biggest ice cream fan but this was absolutely amazing!!!!!! -
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Me and the girls have been out shopping since 9:30am this morning and I’m so worn out and tired now BUT we’re out tonight and I’m excited! I won’t be reenacting Thursday nights antics; that was just too much I’m going to pace myself and make sure I’m okay! I can’t keep drinking away my problems because then that will just create a problem! I have to be sensible and really make sure to stay conscious of what I’m doing!!! -
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I’m not fat for having this am I? I’m not going to gain a load of weight? I know I’m being irrational but the thoughts are so loud♀️♀️♀️ come on sash. Don’t ruin a good day!