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Honestly? The last few days have been ROUGH. I had a migraine last Thursday, which turned into a several day thing, and I’m just now getting back to practicing today. That’s just how it is sometimes.
That said, if everyone is cool with it, I’m going to extend the challenge a few days to make up for the time lost. How about we make yesterday the beginning of week 4, so today will be week 4, Day 2. Cool?
Ok back to practicing
Do you know what gives me #mondaymotivation? It’s this. This image (by the wonderful @johnlyons99) and many others like it, taken of me doing what I do best.
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I firmly believe that we’re in control of our own destinies (although luck helps) and that if we’re not working towards a goal, we’re a bit lost. I’ve been there and, since I’ve had my kids, I’ve developed a very clear sense of who I am and where I want to be. A lot of the time, I want to be here, with them. Some of the time I want to be me, somewhere else.
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My kids are my motivation but, conversely, they’re also what makes this music thing so hard. Should I give up the music, because juggling it with kids is tricky, and because if I’m here for them full-time, it *might* be better for them?
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Or should I fight like fucking hell to do my job, the other bit of me, and make them proud that their Mum worked her ass off even though it wasn’t particularly easy, and leaving them made her feel hideously guilty a good deal of the time?
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You know my feelings, of course. I’m not going to be the woman that falls by the wayside and gives up on her dreams because it’s difficult. And today has been difficult. I’m not going to let my kids think that I gave up because of them, that it’s their fault. What kind of mother would I be, if I put that on them?
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So I’m going to keep fighting for what I think 25 years of professional musicianship earns me - the right to do my job, as well as I can possibly do it. Sometimes it’s easy to forget what matters, when EVERYTHING around us matters. Looking at a picture like this is my reminder, and if you’re in the same boat as me today, I hope you’ve got something that can remind you of who you are and what else you love Xx