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I'm throwing it back to my first "Rock Climbing" story. I know I made them funny and y'all love when I post them but only a few of you know the story behind them. I've shared bits and pieces of my struggles and how important it is to take care of YOU. I typically feel that I have to put my big girl panties and keep my shit together. I'm not allowed to cry, I'm not allowed to show emotion because STRONG women don't do that. I file my feelings away in a cabinet of get over it. I learned to feel zero emotion and move on. Whether it was work, relationships, personal issues they were never "dealt" with. This is dangerous, it is unhealthy. I felt overwhelmed, exhausted, to the point I was physically ill. All the while, I kept thinking "You cannot go to the dark side aka depression" I felt if I went there, then I was a failure. I thought about other people who have it worse. I thought, I'm not allowed to feel this way! I went to my doctor, got on meds, started therapy. Therapy was exhausting. There was alot of crying, anger, it was ugly. There was alot of digging deep trying to find the root cause of why I think this way, or why I act that way. There were things I didn't want to "dig up" but with the help of my awesome therapist I was able to in order to heal. I didn't allow myself to mourn relationships, I didn't allow myself to FEEL. For a whole week, I literally did nothing. I was glued to my sofa. I tried to sleep it away. I felt as if I were in coma, like life was going around me and I was trapped. One day, I finally got to a place in which I wanted out of my coma, and tried to tackle the day. It was such a struggle. There was zero desire. It was like ok, I took a shower, that was exhausting. It took ALOT effort to do the most simple things. I ran a couple of errands. I went to my therapist. When I got home and out of my car, I was drained, yet I felt accomplished because I tried. I felt like I had climbed a rock. In my head I heard my therapist say "You did better than yesterday...babysteps," In my moment of accomplishment, I saw the rock, laughed and took the photo. I found comfort in much needed laughter that day. Thank you for reading. You are not alone
When ya feeling da beat!! I love this song drowning by @artisthbtl and @kodakblack Full video on YouTube link in bio☝ #musicvideo #musiccovers #onemincover #aboogiewitdahoodie #kodakblack @kodakblack #musician #independentartist #unsignedartist #upcomingartist #drowning #band #singer #singersofinstagram #musician #explorepage #issamood #issavibe
Good morning QueFitTribe!!! Its another #motivationmonday I finally made it back in the gym I was even able to get under a little weight and do some weighted squats and leg press The good thing about starting and running @juicebarmc is that all of the smoothies and juices are made with fruits and veggies so I loss a few pounds keeping that waist nice & snatched. Here’s some motivation for you: CHANGE IS INEVITABLE so be like water and keeping flowing no matter the terrain and adapt quickly! And learn to become ice when necessary!!! #charleston #issamood #fitnessinspiration #fitnessmotivation #fitness