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Berthoud Pass, CO - August, 2018
I left feeling like the mountain was trying to beat me. I left feeling discouraged. It was a good hike, great weather with great people and although I’ve been tired and out of sorts lately, I thought it would still be manageable. Maybe it was the car sickness that began on the way up, or the lingering headache I’d had for several days a little bit before this day. Maybe it was the fatigue of a crazy July or the shear exhaustion of the last couple of years. Maybe it was all of those things....but manageable didn’t seem like a word to describe my mountain experience this day.
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The mountains have always been my therapy - so when this particular hike seemed impossible it was hard to accept. This is my thing - this is what I do....I hike, I explore, I keep going. I don’t get dizzy on the way up and fearful of the way down....I just go! On this day I was greatly humbled. I was reminded of the importance of taking care of myself, healing, building strength, gaining stamina and being patient. I learned that you can’t always pick right up where you left off. *
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I realize now that the mountain wasn’t trying to beat me. It was just there to remind me of my humanity, my weakness and also my strength. I wasn’t done or ready to give up - and I’m still not done. This is the beginning of my new chapter and although there will be difficult uphill battles like this one, AND some that are a lot tougher....I’m ready to take them on one by one and get stronger and stronger. I’ve survived some tough stuff, but also accomplished more than I thought possible. I can get stronger, I can be rested again and focus on what lies ahead. I can be patient and take the steps to focus on what I need to do to get there. I have many mountains left to climb.
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