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❌A NICE GUY ISN’T THE SAME AS A GOOD MAN❌ You need to know the difference.
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When I first realized that I had a pattern of being attracted to and attracting men that were emotionally unavailable (to me) I tried to reverse the pattern. I thought, maybe I’ll just stop dating jerks and I’ll go out with really nice guys instead and that’ll be that. ♀️
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So I did.♀️
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I went out with self-proclaimed nice guys and I didn’t feel anything. I mean, not that I didn’t feel anything. More like, I didn’t feel anything good. Being with a nice guy did not create some seismic shift in my universe where I all of a sudden recognized the error of my ways and resolved to never date a jerk again because I realized I deserved to be treated nicely and I’d be treated nicely by nice guys.
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It was almost the opposite. Being with nice guys didn’t make me want nice guys — it turned me off from nice guys and made me want jerks and I started to think there was something seriously wrong with me.
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I mean there was something wrong with wanting the jerks. But it actually made sense that I didn’t like the nice guys…
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A nice guy isn’t the same as a good man and although we can often feel this intuitively, it can be hard to put your finger on and actually *get* conceptually. Turns out, nice guys are jerks with suppressed anger, less charm, and better manners (at first).
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A nice guy is a man who’s deep in his victimhood. He’s entitled and frustrated that the chips haven’t fallen in his favor as much as he thinks they should have. He covers up that there’s seething anger a quarter of an inch below the surface niceness, but you can feel the anger and desperation lurking beneath.
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The energy is palpable but his Nice Guy Act creates confusion: you meet him and he’s “such a nice guy” it feels like you *should* give him more of a chance. And it’s not just that you’re not attracted to him (although you’re not) it’s that you don’t feel at ease.
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(Cont in comments)
Never neglect your your own needs.....it only builds up resentment and frustration inside of you and keeps your from your own happiness....
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Happy Monday babes! This week all of our affirmations are focused around romantic relationships. As usual, anything external in our lives is a reflection of our internal life - specifically the beliefs we hold about ourselves. If you want to attract the perfect partner or you want to improve your current relationship, begin by examining the beliefs you hold. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Do you think you are worthy of love? Do you feel like you deserve to be happy? Diane Von Furstenburg says ‘the most important relationship you have in your life if the one with yourself. And if you have that, any other relationship is a plus and not a must.’
It’s funny now, but I used to resent my life for the hiccups and challenges I faced.
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Reality is I never intended to take 2years for my gap year. I never intended to be suspended from college for a term. And I never intended to stay in Germany for 2 years after my first job.
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But it all happened and looking back now, all of these events were a blessing in disguise.
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Because God uses those hiccups to push me in the right direction. He used the challenges to spark my creativity. And he is using my life as a testimony for others.
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The path that you resent now eventually will lead you to the destination that you’ll embrace.
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A place of abundance, confidence and purpose.
#faithblogger #relationshipcoach #lifecoach #relationshipgoals #christianblogger #godlywoman #purpose #faith #trustgod #godsplan #singleness #motivation #blackgirlmagic #blackgirlswhoblog #atlanta #god
Happy Friday!! What a gorgeous set up! Congratulations to the beautiful couple! Event Team:
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Bride: @behamin
Groom: @bahram36
Dress: @pronovias
Hair: @beautybycrystalmichelle
Makeup: @nassim.esk
Wedding Planner: @caboweddingchic
Event designer: @mahipasha
Florals: @floristry_mec
Rentals: @maineventcabo
Photography: @vtylerphotos
Videography: @andhervisuals
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Follow @themarriagemovement for wedding and relationship inspiration!
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#TheMarriageMovement #CouplesWhoRock #HappilyMarried #Love #Husband #Wife #Fiance #Engaged #Married #LoveHim #LoveHer #WeddingDay #Marriage #MarriageGoals #Happy #WeddingDay #IDo #Committed #MarriageCoach
#MarriedMyBestFriend
#RelationshipCoach #MarriageCoach