Список из самых популярных хештегов по теме #SEESMOOTHWRITE

5/93. FLOWERS FOR THOUGHT  We are not very different from flowers, who don’t get nearly enough credit for their willingness to wilt, as they do for blooming; for being teachers to the process of impermanence. . Little lines during a staff meeting+writing exercise facilitated by @gabrielmcortez . I think a lot about life+death. Our society will have you thinking that everything will be alright as long as you have your success to hold on to; until you lose someone you love in pursuit of achievement. It’s hard to admit, but I hold a lot of shame for how I dealt with my dad being ill. I used productivity (two jobs, school, internship, organizing events, and breakin) to run away from the responsibility of feeling, and caring for someone I loved. I’m still learning to get over it. Until I do, one thing I am teaching myself is that growth requires periods of regression, destruction, and death. . #seesmoothwrite #93daysofsummer

6/93. A METAPHOR FOR SOCIAL MEDIA (ironic because I’m using social media to post this) plus a short compilation of me and actual chips. . Not hungry. Craving.... Chips (I know that I shouldn't). My mouth is salty. . Ps this being vulnerable+writing shit is making me realize I don’t make as much time during the day to be thoughtful/creative/intentional as often as I thought I did. (Also way less pics of me and chips than I thought I had) . #seesmoothwrite #93daysofsummer

10/93. The summer of 2012, I finished my last Spring final exam and ran out of the classroom to get on a plane to Finland for Flow Mo anniversary jam. I’d never met @paulskeee before then, but his reputation preceded him. And because I respected his work, I tried to call him out in a cypher At the end of getting demolished in the circle by him and Poe, Paul gave me a hug then looked me in the eye and said, “You got a lot of heart, kid.” Since then, he’s never turned me away. . My older brother, Kuya Paul (lol), Pai Mei, Obi Wan, et cetera. I’ve learned so much about myself, and grown in a lot of ways under his watch and mentorship. Ask him how stubborn I am and he’ll count all the ways. Ask me if I’ve ever experienced the pre-2010 Paulskeee, and I’ll shake my head. But bearing witness to the ugly and painful parts of growth is the bare minimum of real Love and Loyalty. I’m eternally grateful for the wealth of Knowledge and Love he’s shared not only with me, but for the Hip Hop community. His curatorial vision and scientific eye in Hip Hop culture are what I appreciate most about him, and we get to honor how those legacies manifested in #Mighty4 and #RockForceCrew. . We are celebrating #Mighty4Day Union City, CA this Saturday 7/7. Appreciation awards, all four elements in the flesh, all styles battle, legends, movers, shakers, youth & OGs together in community. See you there. . #seesmoothwrite #93daysofsummer

11/93. BAG LADY. I think a lot about what it means to be the daughter of immigrants in the US. We live with the burden of maintaining composure at all costs - lying, hiding trauma, living quietly in shame, downplaying all struggle - because we know our parents made the ultimate sacrifice of leaving behind their countries for us. You grow up with shit, you try to forget it or you’re too busy living in it, and next thing you know you’re a figurative, Erykah Badu bag lady missing your bus cuz you’ve got too much stuff. No? Just me? . As I was pondering what I was like before the figurative baggage, I found visual proof of it. Also known as Ann in her most raw form and my current goals: bangs, unapologetically Brown, wearing a floral leotard & my favorite 99 cent Seafood City tsinelas/slippers, posted after most likely doing backbends and cartwheels in our little Paradise Hills living room to my dad’s funk & disco CD collection‍♀️‍♀️‍♀️ . PS to all the hatin ass little white girls in my gymnastics class who said I was doing the most when I would pose after our vault exercises. . #seesmoothwrite #93daysofsummer

14/93. GHOST ii/iii My ghost goes to happy hour after work, sometimes. Mostly sips on water alone. Every now and then she gets a taste of hustle, only to spit it into the ground. Remembers how ambition made her a traitor to her father, made her run from her body. Forgets that the bitterness must sit on her tongue before she can savor the sweetness. . The classic dilemma of getting so caught up in creating a future that isn’t here yet, and missing the present. Sacrifice and work was how he moved in love and ironically, I learned and applied it to death. I hustled like his life depended on it; as if my success could save him the way his success created me. And after he died I couldn’t take my dreams, breakin, or creative work seriously because they took life from me. . But, hustle is an acquired taste and I’m getting over my own bitterness and finally savoring self love and shit. I’ve been a bitter ass bitch for a long time!!!! This self reflection is hella corny sometimes but the shift is real and feels goooood. . #seesmoothwrite #93daysofsummer

15/93. GHOST iii/iii. My ghost gets close, sometimes. Mostly keeps her distance. Only knows how to love like the ocean, but can’t seem to stop making homes in the sandcastles men build for her. They call her tsunami, but don’t stop to question the fragility of a love made from sand. Realizes the ocean needs no home and that all her waves need, is space to roll and crash, every now and then. . I’ve fantasized about a love that would carry me through fire; ride-or-die type of love. Because I witnessed my father fight to love me through his pain til the day he died. And when he did die, that was the only love I wanted. A love that would save me. A love that would let me shove my emotions into the care of someone else because men in my life had done the same with me. That version of love is a game of give and take, and it’s a version I’m still trying to unlearn. . My father loved me infinitely, but his love wasn’t perfect either (He told my mom I wouldn’t get married if I kept bossing my boyfriends around, lol whatta dick). I still think that many men need to do the work of unlearning ideas of love that exhaust the womxn in their lives. And I’ve continued to make the mistake of believing I was too much to hold, demanding I be held when I knew damn well I was in the company of men who couldn’t hold themselves, and thinking that maybe my dad was right. In reality, I know love is learned and it is usually wrapped up in layers of trauma. I know that loving honestly is a process that requires people to surrender all they know to grow spiritually and emotionally in partnership - romantically, platonically, and in families. And I know that I can love someone from a distance without getting wrapped up in solving their trauma. . But I’ve also been single for a solid 4+ years so ya girl is no expert BUT I have been to the beach more times this year than I have in years past so that’s something? THIS WAS HARD TO WRITE AND I’M GLAD THIS 3 PART GHOST THING I INITIALLY THOUGHT WAS A GOOD IDEA IS OVER. . #seesmoothwrite #93daysofsummer

22/93. MNSTRS: SKIN. The year is 1995. AnnMeryl is tasked with her first official documented artistic endeavor in Mrs. Haggerty’s kindergarten class: a self portrait. There are no rules, but only two colors of construction paper silhouettes to choose from - fair skinned white girl, and dark brown girl. Her black bangs swish side to side as she quickly shifts focus to her little tan limbs to determine where on the skin color spectrum she falls. She has never known her skin to be fair & fragile, but she knows at the age of five that dark girls aren’t loved & praised like pale girls are. . Colonization is some shit. I remember drawing my bangs and something about choosing the white girl paper cut out didn’t sit well with my five year old self. Identifying as Pinay in Paradise Hills and east Chula Vista I have seen, dealt with, and perpetuated colorism in my communities. Being called sunog/burnt with a frown. Family members determining any white man as a suitable partner. Sharing tips with homegirls about skin whitening products and papaya soap. And straight up being told that spending too much time in the sun didn’t make me beautiful (in Tagalog but idk how to say all that without translator so let’s not front). . I present to the internets another three part series because I am a masochist!!! I have always been fascinated by the idea of monsters and their representation of cultural fears, manifested in myths passed on to children. So this is about the monsters of cultural insecurity and colonial mentality that have perpetuated my self-hate around my appearance. Like daaamn, I JUST gained some confidence at 28 thx to some bullshit I heard from out of pocket aunties+uncles and a lack of diversity in the Power Rangers?! Whack. So here are some words. And a weird collage with my face covered in (a lottttta) unintentional glitter. . #seesmoothwrite #93daysofsummer

23/93. WHO DO YOU DANCE FOR? Hip Hop culture was (and still is) my saving grace when everything I knew about the world had crashed. When my father was dying, breakin was the only thing that welcomed my brokenness. When everything was lost, taking a risk was the only way to move - so in a matter of four days I relocated to the Bay Area. . I was five months in, and had committed to learning it all. My mentor and brother @paulskeee had thoughtfully dug into his archives every night to school me in Hip Hop culture. Among the boxes of tapes was an unpublished interview with @floatski. . Not only did he flow gracefully and move sharply; he also spoke wisely with absolute Love and Respect for the future of Hip Hop culture. He was one of those people I trained for; dreaming of the day I could share a cypher and make him nod his head during my round. . Regretfully, I don’t get to share that cypher in this lifetime. To make up for it, I dance in honor of Float and the OGs who built this, and am calling on my people to support Float’s legacy and family. The complications of his loss has been emotionally and financially devastating - click the link in my bio to read more and show your support. . #seesmoothwrite #93daysofsummer

30/93. TIRED. Remember the time you spent a birthday in Iceland panicking about starving because all the stores were closed for the long Easter holiday? Those deep belly laughs sipping whiskey and eating gas station groceries with sweet strangers turned travel pals in the Westfjords, and the sound of waves softly crashing while you laid down on the hood of the dusty ass rental car to watch the northern lights dance in the sky. . Just some self soothing via writing and reminiscing after a long day. PS summer is technically over on the 22nd so I got time to finish ok! . #seesmoothwrite #93daysofsummer