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Anxiety is created from a belief (perception) we have no control of the situation outside of us when really the loss of control is in your thoughts ABOUT the situation. .
Anxiety is the emotion we feel when our thoughts are unclear and we don’t have the coping mechanisms to calm, clear up and direct our thinking elsewhere. .
That loss of control in our mind then for many spirals into a physical reaction that can lead to increased heart rate, shortness of breath and ultimately panic.
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Anxiety is as normal of an emotion as sadness or happiness but we have stigmatized it which only heightens individual fears while feeling it. Then we create additional labels to solidify that it’s separate, more powerful and different and we need special treatment/medication to cope with it. .
I was ‘diagnosed’ and medicated for severe anxiety back in my teens. My anxiety led to unhealthy coping mechanisms of OCD which only enhanced the anxiety because I had no understanding of it and thus handed my power over to it and the OCD rituals to soothe it. I haven’t been medicated in decades and my coping mechanisms are now a healthy understanding of what creates it for me as well as how to self-soothe and adjust my thinking in moments I feel out of control. .
Your anxiety is a very real and valid feeling for you personally so don’t shame it however do understand that what creates it is always going to be you believing for even a split second that you have no power or choice in how you feel or what you think/do/say in that moment. The truth is you never were without that power or choice; it was actually unprocessed pain and trauma that led you to believe those powerless thoughts in regards to that situation in the first place.
I haven’t had much time to write this week but I did have a long drive out into the California desert this past weekend. With it, came a lot of thinking space. And emo music.
While I was emoting, I started to wonder, what are emotions exactly? I know we can physically pattern thoughts in the brain as they run their neural circuits, we can identify feelings through body sensations and label them with language (especially if we’re really paying attention), and we can recognize our behaviors as they are carried out as a result of those thoughts and feelings.
Emotions, are more elusive though. Not only are they hard to physically identify, but they seem to be the only category out of that list in which we all collectively share the same set. Meaning; we each have our own unique set of thoughts, we feel our feelings in different ways throughout our bodies, and we express ourselves with our own set of learned behaviors, but when it comes to emotions there’s only so many we’re capable of experiencing. More importantly, we’ll all experience each one, to varying degrees and durations, throughout this lifetime.
What if there’s only so many emotions to go around for everyone? We’re all just sharing some big collective of emotions drifting around, paying one person a visit after another. Staying only long enough to teach us what we need to know before moving on to the next student.
And it’s our work to recognize that they are only visitors, not residents, and resist the temptation to claim them as property. Resist holding so tightly that they become our definition of self.
You are not sad, angry, anxious, depressed or even eternally happy. You are human and therefore you experience these emotions, but they are not you.
Since emotions are their own entity, like any of us working to claim our individuality, they just want to move from unseen to seen so they can be felt. They want their own metamorphosis. Transforming from an intangible emotion into a palpable feeling so they can be moved through the body and set free again.
Free to roam the earth and touch another soul. Teach another lesson. Transfer its wisdom.
Let’s talk burnout for a second…
Something I’ve been struggling with lately is feeling like I don’t “deserve” to be burnt out at this stage in my life.
It seems like the only people who can justify it are students during exams or people working intense jobs for years and years… but here I am, 1.5 months into a new job and already feeling like I need a mental break.
Trying to adjust to a new schedule, learn new procedures and nurture new (and existing) relationships has been way harder than I imagined.
Some things I’m implementing to try and combat this:
-Joined a gym and starting to attend regular fitness classes
⁃Trying to take on less social commitments and be comfortable being alone
⁃Being open with my manager when I’m struggling and taking breaks when I need them
So, how do you prevent burnout? What are some ways that you take care of your mental health when life is feeling a little overwhelming?
Sometimes as parents we do things we THINK we should be doing because we worry without it our children will become awful humans. I find that forcing children to say sorry is one of those things!
But is a forced sorry a real apology? Will it actually help your child learn how to appropriately display remorse, and will it help the other person involved feel better? Hm, maybe.
But I think there are better ways to approach tricky situations where you are able to develop your child’s inner moral compass - rather than depending on an adult always being there to remind them when to apologise.
A good way to do this is just to comment on what’s happened: ‘You bopped your sister on the head and now she looks very upset’. The way you model your apologies as an adult is enough for your child to pick up how to use the phrase in a meaningful way.
And also while we’re at it - try not to stress. Your child is definitely NOT an awful human. They’re just a child learning social norms.
It’s this simple. What you focus on expands. When you decide to observe what is working in your life and what you are grateful for, you will receive a magnificent ROI on this investment of your attention. The most beneficial being an improvement in your emotional experience.
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You might notice similar PAINFUL experiences REPEATING themselves throughout a certain period of your life .
Often these experiences reoccur over many YEARS ♀️ .
This is because we need to ADDRESS them in their depth to break the cycle.
What is their depth? Even seemingly unrelated ‘issues’ we are experiencing often stem from the same few ROOT causes .
For example, an inability to see our true value can cause us to keep attracting the wrong partners over-and-over again as well as causing us to settle for less than we truly desire in our work environment.
This pattern in our life is a MIRROR for what we need to work on most within ourselves .
We are NOT being personally attacked in our life. We are NOT victims.
We all have something/s deep-rooted that could benefit from being re-wired.
Type YES if you agree ⤵️ .
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New bedtime routine, who’s with me!♀️
//repost @mytherapisthelps •
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Confront your own shit first. Understand your issues, your problematic patterns, your anger, your harmful behaviors. Put in the work to better yourself, not only physically but emotionally and mentally too
//repost @goodhumansonly (give this angel a follow)
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Friday mood, am I right
//repost from @thegirlfriendmanifesto •
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