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Hey there. It’s going to be okay. I know how anxious you feel to get out of your body. I know how hard it is to look at yourself, and I mean really truly look at yourself—and to just be unhappy. To suck in your stomach trying to imagine what it’s going to feel like if you can ever get thin. To make extreme promises that you won’t eat for 3 days at a time, or push yourself extra hard at the gym just to get there faster. Obesity isn’t lazy. Weight-loss isn’t vanity, it’s recovery.
I know how hard it is to step up for yourself after self harming with food. I’ve felt the guilt, anger, and embarrassment of overeating. It’s driven me to lie, hide, and doubt any possibility that I could do this. I’ve made excuses to overeat, I’ve blacked out to overeat, I’ve eaten until I’ve vomitted—simply because I had no control to stop. Being fat doesn’t give you an eating disorder. Eating disorders are conditions that drive smart, motivated, and intelligent people to hurt themselves without control. Food addiction is real. It’s scary, and like any other addiction, is extremely dangerous for your health.
You have the capacity to rebuild your relationship with food. You owe it to your health to try. You can change slowly overtime. My journey to stop abusing food has been slow. Some weeks I have so much success, it’s hard to imagine the dark place I use to be—others I have to take it one day at a time.
But I’ll never stop trying. I’ll never hide again. I’ll never be so embarrassed or so consumed by food that I stop fighting this. I survived from obesity. I work every single day on how to avoid overeating.
You’re never alone. I’m here too. That dark place, that chaos in your brain, that feeling when it’s just you and that bag of chips, and every hand into the bag hurts so good. I’m right there. I’m sorry this is hard, It’s hard for me too. But you deserve more, and you are capable of it. One day at a time. ❤️
#nationaleatingdisorderawarenessweek #bingeeatingrecovery #bingeeating #overeatersanonymous #eatingdisorderrecovery #foodaddiction #foodaddictionrecovery #foodfreedom #weightlosstransformation #weightlossjourney #healthjourney #nedawareness
People always ask how I’ve lost 225 pounds in under 8 months, but I rarely get asked how I got to my start weight (575 pounds) in the first place. For me, I gained my weight by my actions that caused an eating disorder and a behavioral disorder that I am working to overcome. I suffer from Binge Eating Disorder (BED) and I am a recovering food addict. These two disorders are rarely talked about but I want to work to end that. People often times don’t take these disorders seriously, but for me, they were slowly killing me. I will make more posts about these two disorders in the future because I have so much more to say but I just wanted to share a small bit of my story. ❤️ It is important to note that both of these disorders are treatable. Treatment can range from counseling to medication. I urge you to please talk to a doctor and seek help and guidance if you don’t know where to turn. I am also here to talk and offer support if you need it. (@betterhelp app and @thementalhealthmanager are two great free resources for help with mental health). I was inspired to get more candid with my posts by @hartchanges @fatgirlfedup @getfitwjessica @passionjonesz12 and @justlikedrew)
Definitions:
Binge Eating Disorder: is an eating disorder characterized by frequent and recurrent binge eating episodes with associated negative psychological and social problems, but without subsequent purging episodes (e.g. vomiting)
Food Addiction: is a behavioral addiction that is characterized by the compulsive consumption of palatable (e.g., high fat and high sugar) foods which markedly activate the reward system in humans despite adverse consequences.
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#vsg #wls #sleeve #sleeved #weightloss #workout
#bariatric #bariatricsurgery #vsgcommunity #vsglife #lifeafterwls #health #weightlosstransformation #weightlossmotivation #weightlossjourney #plussize #effyourbeautystandards #bodypositivity #weightlosssurgery #extremeweightloss #obesetobeast #losingweight #weightlosssupport #transformationtuesday #bingeeatingdisorder #foodaddiction #eatingaddiction #recovery #bingeeatingrecovery #foodaddictionrecovery
I’ve spent the last two years healing.
It took me a while to confront the sadness and anger I had about myself. My body, my habits, and my intentional ignorance about my health made me someone who was insecure, ingenuine, and anxious. I felt for years that if I told anyone that I needed help or that I struggled with food control that I would be admitting I was some kind of fat-loser. Instead, I’ve gained the most incredible gift of what it means to be honest and shameless about a problem.
I have an eating disorder. I am a binge-eater. I have uncontrollable impulses to eat. I have snuck food, ate days worth of calories in a few hours, and genuinely had no idea how to stop. I was addicted to fast food. I would self-harm with over eating, and refusing to confront this led to a body and lifestyle that tortured me daily. I never believed I was good enough, brave enough or strong enough. I was wrong.
Today is very different. I speak openly about what is like to live with this. Like other disorders, it doesn’t just go away. I practice constantly on how to have a positive relationship with food, and learn to control and confront my eating disorder. It’s not easy, but it’s not dreadful. I finally have peace of mind to understand how to help myself.
I am confident in my ability to grow and change as an individual. I exercise because I love the challenge and the excitement of becoming fit and strong. I am not embarrassed when I overeat—I am concerned. My goal is to live a long and healthy life, and focusing on eating correctly and exercising has made me a peaceful and finally happy person.
So yeah. I’ve changed a lot. I am not just thinner, I am healthier. I am more fit, as much as I am just finally at peace. I don’t live in a body prison anymore. I don’t let fear of being judged hold me back from being honest with myself. I am open, I am Ella, and I am free <3
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#bingeeating #bingeeatingrecovery #overeatersanonymous #foodaddictionrecovery #overeating #weightlosstransformation #weightlossjourney #weightlossmotivation #foodfreedom
I try to be as real as possible about this journey. The good, the bad, and the ugly. The loss AND the gain. Regain is a hard pill to swallow. It has brought up a lot of hard feelings for me. Mostly feelings of failure and shame. I am struggling. Just typing those words makes me sick to my stomach. I have been is a huge hole of denial about how bad it’s gotten. I’m currently trying to get back on track. Starting over is SO hard. But I know it’s do-able. I can do this. I am stronger than my disease. I’m in control of my life and the person I want to be. It’s never to late and I’m not too far gone. I CAN DO THIS. #iamstrong #eatingdisorderawareness #eatingdisorderrecovery #foodaddictionrecovery #bingeeating #dailystruggle #beforeandafterweightloss #weightlosstransformation #weightlossjourney #regain #regainafterweightloss #fitness #fitmama #realist #support #weightlossmotivation #weightlosscommunity #selflove
Binge eating feels like blacking out in your body. Yes—technically speaking—you are in control of your eating, you are navigating your hands, you are choosing which cabinets to go through, you’re opening the jar peanut butter. Taking a bite, and putting it away far behind everything else. You pace back and forth, your mind is racing, you feel hungry even though you’re not, and you go back for more.
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The whole time thinking. I need to stop. I’ve had enough. Maybe one more? Yes, okay. Just one more. Bite after bite, snack after snack, you negotiate how to stop until you’ve finally just run out of things to eat.
It feels like the part of my mind that is Ella—the girl who is funny, determined, intelligent, she just shuts off. The feelings that triggered the binge take over, and I am on the other side of my mind just begging myself to stop. It’s impulsive, and it feels disgusting to go through.
It’s hard not to walk away with self hatred, doubt, and anxiety. To feel so much blame for what you did. To look at your body and feel personally responsible for how it looks. •
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Today, I work so hard to be open and real about this. I remember that this is a biological problem. B.E.D can be caused be hormonal irregularities, genetic mutations, and food addiction. It can be caused by trauma. It’s not my fault that I have this problem, but it’s my responsibility to my health and happiness to constantly be working on it. I know it’s hard to face, but I’m happier now then I’ve ever been. A younger Ella hid this disorder, I hid my torture, and I hurt myself. Today I am free not because I am cured, but because I am finally healing. Small wins feel incredible, and everyone deserves this freedom. I’m not there, but I’m on my way ❤️
#bingeeatingrecovery #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery #bingeeating #foodaddictionrecovery #foodaddict #overeatersanonymous #weightlosstransformation #weightlossjourney #weightlossstory #healthjourney
Tiptoeing down closer to my right-sized body. I've just started my second Bright Line Eating Bootcamp to join in all the Food Freedom Fest 2018 fun as I slip into maintenance! On the left is a 4X top and 2X skirt. Today? Size Large top and Size 6 jeans. And no crazy food thoughts. Started Couch to 5k yesterday ❤BLE❤ #veganbrightlineeating #veganble #brightlinevegan #brightlineeating #nosugarnoflour #noflour #nosugar #plantbased #wfpbweightloss #weightlossjourney #weightloss #weightlosstransformation #beforeandafter #bingeeating #bingeeatingrecovery #foodaddictio #foodaddictionrecovery #transformationtuesday
We do hard things one day at a time. I could never fathom starting such a long journey because of the incredible length of time I imagined it would take to complete. The truth is, time marches on whether or not we take that first step. I recently celebrated 1 year of abstinance, free from sugar and flour, snacking, and excessive quantities of food. Happy, Thin, and Free is a great tagline. Peaceful is my word for it. What a difference a year makes! I love you #susanpiercethompson and #brightlineeating #foodaddictionrecovery #bingeeating #bingeeatingrecovery #happythinfree #wfpb #plantbased #nosugarnoflour #noflour #nosugar #plantbased #wfpbweightloss #weightlossjourney
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