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Have you ever gone through something really difficult? A break up, illness, divorce, grad school...
You get through. You put one foot in front of the other everyday and keep moving forward. Finally “done” there is a sense of relief. “I don’t know how I made it through.”
And most of the time we do make it through. We are a species designed to survive. Which is why it can be so confusing to be “done” with something and not feel back to normal.
I explained this concept to someone recently. Using this metaphor; it’s like carrying grocery bags in from the car. You can muster the strength to carry them all at once. It’s only until after that your arms begin to ache, that red marks form on your skin. That you realize just how heavy they were.
It takes time to recover from heaviness. Sure you can get through anything but we must realize on the other side of that we need recovery, and rest. We need self-compassion and time to reflect on why I carried such a heavy load all at once. Was there ever an opportunity that I missed to lighten it, or have someone help?
I heard this gem from Karen Bonnell, author of ‘The Stepfamily Handbook’ this morning. She was featured in an episode of The Couples Therapist Couch podcast by Shane Birkel.
This phrase caught me dead in my tracks. The context was in creating the architecture of a stepfamily and how so often the fantasy of the new family collided with the necessary time it takes for the new family to form. We so badly want the new to form to decrease the anxiety about the new.
And while this was in reference to stepfamilies I realized how applicable this is to many things.
Our desire to make change, turn fantasy into reality can throw us into fast forward mode. Not surprisingly, frustration that change is not following as we had planned or not as easy as we had though sets in.
So what if we slowed down to go fast. Recognized that change is major, and most of our feelings about it are normal. Instead of holding ourselves and others to impossible standards in the face of change took smaller bites, made things easier to digest. “Slow down to go fast.”
It’s #nationalloveyourpetday Meet Dottie, my 5 month old lab mix puppy. While I love this sweet girl, her addition to our family has been quite an adjustment period. *
Dottie’s arrival initiated a transition point. Periods of transition tend to cause the most stress to families as it takes time to adjust and integrate the “newness” into the family structure. We’ve all had to adjust our routines, expectations and responsibilities to make Dottie part of the crew. With much support from current dog lovers, dog training programs and patience we are beginning to thrive. But it was not easy!
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Let me know of a transitional time for you. How did you manage the stress of the changes? Where did you get support?
#familytherapy #lifetransitions #stressmanagement #newroutines #flexibility #philadelphiatherapist
Ah, the "lose weight, and you'll be happy" trap. So simple. So tantalizing. But that's not what happens at all.
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When people say "eating disorders are about control," this is what they mean. Life is messy, complicated, hot, and sweaty. If you get in the ring you're going get dirty. Eating disorders offer a very alluring alternative: "pay attention to your food, weight, and exercise. I'll distract you."
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And yet, life doesn't get less messy. In fact, eating disorder life gets so complicated with rules and restriction that there is no space to live.
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Dealing with what comes up, though difficult in the short-term, provides longer-lasting benefits.
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Trust me.
As difficult as it is to set boundaries, they are so worth it for your mental, emotional, and spiritual health. It might feel shitty to do this at first, with guilt and doubt arising but it will get easier and you will feel more empowered to set boundaries.
#therapy #therapist #philadelphiatherapist #psychotherapist #teentherapist #therapyforwomen #psychology #boundaries #healthyboundaries #setboundaries #empowerment #empoweryourself #selflove #healing #shedoldpatterns
What is mindfulness?
When you’re aware of your #thoughts, #emotions and the physical sensations in your body
BENEFITS of mindfulness include A decrease in #stress, #anxiety, #depression, blood pressure and much more. Practicing mindfulness can also increase focus, #emotion regulation, awareness, and immune system functioning. There are MANY more benefits that are just too long to list here
One exercise is to be mindful while you eat. Here are some questions to ask yourself. What does my food look like? What are the colors I see? What kind of utensils do I need to eat this? What does it smell like? What flavors can I taste? What does it feel like when I chew?
#mindfulness #mindful #mindfuleating #selfcare #selflove #psychology #therapy #therapist #philadelphiatherapist #holisticpsychology #holistichealing #holistichealth #happy #happiness #joy #joyful
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