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My past was the door for my spiritual awakening! . . .
#spiritualawakening#spirit#spiritual#addict#addiction#alcohol#alcoholic#alcoholism#rehab#clean#cleanandsober#aa#na#sa#alcholicsanonymous#narcoticsanonymous#onedayatatime#higherpower#god#fiath#trust#powerless#hereandnow#freedom#positive#recover#redorecover#sober#soberiety
I feel like sometimes people who might be #sobercurious might read my post and be like, what? You got sober now you love art again ♀️ - so just to explain mental health wellness is undeniably linked to being alcohol free. If you read any science on the subject. ALCOHOL IS A DEPRESSANT. So when I am talking about giving up alcohol, I am also talking about managing my mental health. When I was very ill with depression I lost the ability to make decisions, I couldn’t tell you what art I liked or what music to choose, my life was ruled by greyness and indecision, i couldn’t cook anymore or come up with recipes, I couldn’t make choices about what I wanted to wear, I just existed. When I had chronic insomnia I had no sense of self, I had no belief in my own passions or what I believed in, I lived in a world walled by my own incapacity to feel anything about anything. Alcohol fueled my depression, it gave it strength to trample over my soul. It added to the self loathing/self abuse and numbing of self, it added to make my world really really small, really really grey and without joy. So being sober has been and continues to be a reconnection with myself. It continues to be a mind boggling, awe inspiring journey into technicolor ❤️I won’t ever be without pain or suffering or my unbalanced brain, because that is me, but what I can be is better than I was and that is enough for me, we can be better enough. #reasonstolovesober #lovesober #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthsupport #depression #anxiety #wearetheluckiest #gratitude #beenough #sober #soberiety #wedorecover #recovery #sherecovers #soberistas #joinclubsoda #theunruffledpod #motherhood #motherhoodunplugged #igmums #ptsd #traumarecovery #alcoholisadrug #alcoholisadepressant #depressionwearslippy
Call it what you want - Creator, divine intelligence, universal life force, God, spirit, higher self, Mother Earth - but I gotta say that my life has infinitely changed since I became willing enough to surrender my whole life over to the force that makes the sun come up each day.
My game changing strategy:
walking with God.
(I like to call it god, but it is a ‘god of my understanding’, not the god I was taught to believe in growing up!) Pic: @gabbybernstein
Sometimes a getaway is needed to reset and recharge #NoFilter #Sunset #PrettyLikeAPainting ◇
Sometimes that plan backfires and your anxiety kicks in and your head is set into panic-mode for no apparent reason #panicattack
Don't get me wrong... I love this escape. I love spending time away from home with my kids and creating memories with them.
This is what I've always wanted to do with them ❤
Maybe it's the fact that I'm still coming to work each morning, so I'm forced to leave them all asleep in their bed for my mom to spend time with until I make my way back from the office.
Maybe it's because I'm away from my home that I'm only now, after 10 years, just starting to fall in love with.
Maybe its because I miss my damn cats ♀️
Maybe it's because I've reached certain milestones with my sobriety and my will and strength is being tested ♀️
Or maybe its just because there is a certain level of uncertainty in my life right now that my brain is unnecessarily creating problems and scenarios in my head
Regardless of the actual reason for it, to that which I may never actually determine, my head is a mess *sigh*
• • •
So to that, I raise my vibration to all of those working through things they'd rather not talk about.
There is strength and power in numbers ❤
We've got this
• • •
#moderndating101
#AnxietyAwareness
#MentalHealthAwarness
#SupportInNumbers
#AnxietyAttack #VacationBlues #PassionProject #Sober #meditation #MeditationPractice #DeepBreaths #Soberiety #SoberIsSexy #SoberLifestyle #SoberMovement #AlcoholFree #WheresTheWine
Flashback to 1 year ago and me with red hair! I don't have many pictures of this beautiful woman. Especially of us together, but she means the world to me! She's become like a surrogate mother - more like a sister. Lauri came into my life in 2013. We knew each other on a superficial level, at that time. In 2014, she called me out of the blue, right after my hip was fractured. She was the first person I told the truth to, about what was going on. All of it.
I think that I've put her through hell and back - several times!!! Watching me deal with the abuse. Basically living thru it with me, had to be painful, scary and confusing. Trauma bonds are real and difficult to break.
Then there was the alcohol. Sigh. There was a time when she just knew to call me. Heard it LOUD! "Call Amy now!!" She had no clue what had happened or why to call at that moment, but did. When I miraculously answered she told me to call 911. I did. I listen to Lauri - even when I was heavily intoxicated. I had spent the last couple of days in a VRBO with my ex husband and no one really knew exactly where I was. He had left shortly before Lauri's call. Much had occurred that weekend that I'm not going into. When the EMT's arrived I blew a .40 alcohol. An alcohol level of .30 or above is fatal for someone my size. That call more than likely saved my life.
I can only imagine the heartache and grief she felt watching helplessly as I battled my alcoholism. Flailing and not realizing I needed to work on my PTSD. She's been there at the depths. Knows things no one but her, god and I know....and still loves me.
I know I can be a handful! And I love her for standing by my side - even when most people would've left. She's believed in me, encouraged me, laughed with me and cried. She's been a cheerleader and also told me to dress more appropriately when I had a date picking me up from her home .
Words can't express how much I love love LOVE you Lauri Crandall Cooper. Thank you for being you!!!! #flashbackfriday #friends #friendship #surrogatemother #sisters #grateful #blessed #love #courage #hope #inspire #wedorecover #sober #soberiety #positivevibes #sparkleandshine #recoveryisworthit
In the end, only 3 things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived and how gracefully you let go of the things not meant for you. ~Buddah •
#breathing #grace #❤ #giveloveshare #buddah #patience #singlemom #trusttheprocess #letgo
#sober #soberiety #changes #keepsmiling #positivevibes #sparkleandshine #recoveryisworthit